The Wedding Date

Well kiddies, it’s the time of year again…..yes Wedding Season!!!

While I am not as thrilled about it as the Wedding Crashers guys were (I don't crash weddings to get laid), I am still happy to see my friends and family embark on this new trip in life. (Yeah THAT was lame wasn’t it!)

Out of the 6 or 7 weddings I have this summer I will be attending 4 of them, and out of those 4 I am actually in 1 of them. (hmm wonder who that could be??)

So the next question I have to ask myself is this, “Do I bring a date?”

This is a simple NO to two of the weddings as I am already the “date.” The first one is Roommate’s brother’s wedding. Roommate’s mom invited myself and Sarah to Ben’s wedding and therefore we are kind of being Roommate’s date since she is not bringing one.

In July I will be attending a wedding in Michigan to be Dave’s wedding “date.” This will be fun b/c Dave and I are assholes, and like alcohol and pain killers……we’re fun alone but when you mix us…we’re a WILD time!!!

At first I told him to he should bring one of his gay friends (shake up things a bit), b/c while Dave’s home friends know he is gay the other people in the small town might just die if he were to bring another guy. Now THAT would be fun to watch!

Although they should be fine with it, because even though his small town is no San Francisco…...they do have a LOT of guys in cowboy attire. You can’t tell me that Dave is the only mo to come out of the place.

According to my lovely date…..we’ll probably be a little over dressed, as the reception hall will have more dead animal heads on the walls then guests in the chairs.

Now we’re down to two:

As far as Erin’s wedding goes. Erica and I already decided to go together in order to save on gas / hotel / etc. So it is a little late in the game to bring a third party into this. Plus, Eric’s fiancé is in the army…and since she can’t bring him….I’ll go stag to keep her company.

So that leaves us with Nicole’s wedding. The wedding I am actually in and I ask myself….do I want to bring a date??

How do you approach someone with that question?

“Hey, want to be my date to a wedding?”
Unsuspecting Guy: “Sure.”

Me: “Now since I am in it, you’re going to have to drive alone to the church. Sit alone, drive alone to the reception, sit at a table with people you might not know, and basically be ignored by me until after dinner.”

U.G.: “Gee golly Joanie…..that sounds like fun!”

I guess I could bring Dave since I am going to a wedding with him, but do I really want to be known as the girl who brings a gay guy to weddings. Wait, let me rephrase that…..the SAD PATHETIC bridesmaid who could only dig up a gay guy for a wedding date.

Um no. Anyway, I think my family already thinks that after my cousin’s wedding two years ago that Dave attended. Why bring that baggage into Chicago!

The there’s the thought that well if I bring no one I can scam on the straight single attractive guys at the wedding. But I know some single guys coming, and as nice as they are….they’re not really my type.

Plus I think Nicole has mentioned a time or two about this being her wedding and NOT an episode of Blind Date. But maybe that only counted for the groomsmen…..hmmmmmm…..

OH OH!!! I GOT IT!!! Maybe I could hire someone like Deborah Messing does with Dermont Mulroney in the Wedding Date! Yeah there’s an idea…a hot fun guy all mine for the night.

Ugg..nooo…..even if I did do that I could NEVER afford someone hot like Dermot Mulroney. I would have to go to the discount escort serves and end up getting someone like the kid from Napoleon Dynamite.

Oh well, we’ll see. Some of those people thought I was a lesbian in high school, so maybe I’ll bring Kayla and let them keep thinking that.

No…..Nicole would kill me….b/c if the wedding is not Blind Date….it sure the hell isn’t Girls Gone Wild!