Friday, May 26, 2006

nakie-ness? you don't say.......

So out of boredom and knowing if you're reading this you must be bored / insane, I am going to start adding funny conversations I have with my friends on the blog.

Chances are it will be a lot of me and erica or me and dave.

Chances are I'll do this about three times before I forget. You know, they caught the dyslexia you would think they would have caught the ADD top. hmmmm

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BACK STORY: Erica and my sister, Allie, will be roommates come August at good old Northern Illinois. Erica is a clean freak with a post-it addiction (remind me to blog about erica and I as house managers and our post its) and Allie is messy. Erica and I are discussing this over the AIM today.

E: what are you up to

J: I told my mom u were going to pile allies stuff up and post it things when she gets messy

E: LOL

E: things like Sophie

J: my mom said to go buy a couple pounds of post its

E: bahahaha!!

J: ull need them for the first week

E: poor allie

E: I think we're going to have risky business cleaning day

E: we'll put on sunglasses and blast music and clean in our underwear

J: omg

J: don't tempt her

J: she loves being naked


E: she'll love it

E: LMAO

E: see, I know her already

J: when she was little she used to undress ni the grocery store

J: my mom never wanted to take her anywhere


E: hahahahah!!!

J: she was like walking talking kiddy porn

~~hope you understand AIM language. If not, oh well...I don;t care. I am sure you can figure this out for yourself.

~~More to come.....wonder if you find this as funny as we did, and by we i mean myself and the voices in my head.

wooooooooooo

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

She's a Catcher

As promised here is the softball recap:

We’re not as good as the Sox but not as bad as the Cubs, and amazingly no one was seriously injured. More importantly, I wasn’t maimed.

We were terrible during the first game (we had a double header) but better for the second. However, we lost both.

So you know how I said this would update you on the softball progress, well I lied. I realized that unless we win or someone gets hurt or I do something stupid….this won’t be funny to write about.

However, if someone on the team with a digital camera (KAAAAAAAAAATE) brings it next time……maybe we can have pics.

OH!!!!!! I do have something! So I lost my glove and had to buy a new one. Well….I am not one to spend $80.00 on a glove b/c I obviously lose them AND the bog ones are to big for my hand.

So I buy a $30.00 glove, which is a glove for an eight year old. Yep, I am now the proud owner of a PINK and black baseball glove that is meant for a child. Oh yeah….big leagues here I come…………..

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In related news:

My friendship with Dave is completely wrong. There is something not right with us. I mean, just listening to us talk and you wonder when the nice men in the white lab coats are coming to administer the shots.

Baseball conversation:

Me: “Damn, my inner thighs are sore from being a catcher. We had a double header.”
Dave: ::Laughing uncontrollably:: “NEVER say that to a gay man.”
Me: “What? OH EW. You’re an asshole.

Basketball conversation:

I just get done explaining to Dave about the NBA draft and why if some players can’t go first round they go back to college.

Dave: “Um……can you gay it up for me.”
Me: “Sure, the difference between 1st round draft and the rest is like the difference in a Burka Bag and Target.”
Dave: “See that’s all you had to do. Make it about shopping.”

Hockey:
I get done ranting and raving about a couple things.
Dave: “You know you only like hockey b/c you like the though of getting roughed up by a big burley man”

Last night I was at the gym when Dave called and we had this short conversation:

Me: “I’m working out and watching Sports Center.”
Dave: “You are every straight guys dream, you know that.”
Me: “Yeah, and you’re every straight girls dream. We can bring you to weddings/formals and pass you off as straight. Then the next day take you shopping.”

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Dave came to my cousin’s wedding with me. We apparently looked like the next happy couple to walk down the isle. (minus the making out or any signs of sexual love…but whatever)

A couple days later I ran into my other cousin:

T: “Joanie, we all thought you and Dave looked great together. Aunt Shelly was saying you were next, but then your dad said that Dave was gay!?”
Me: “Ohhh…yeah. Dave’s not gay.”
T: “But you daa….”
M: “Yeah, I just told him that b/c Dave and I are sleeping together. Catch you later!”

Needless to say that was a blatant lie, but it was have my family thinking I was a slut or a fag hag. I would rather be a slut.

So kiddies….even though Will & Grace is over, you’ll still get some comedic Queer/Funny girl action here.
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Finally………………

I am trying to kick the diet crack habbit. I am becoming to dependant on it. I’m like a crack head.

Diet Crack Detox is going to be hard….but I am committed. I’ve already gone so far. This is day 2. I foresee an uphill struggle.

Friday, May 19, 2006

I need to get more sleep.......

So a couple funny things have happened or been said and I keep thinking “wow…that is going to be soooo funny for the blog.”

By the time I get to “blogging” I have forgotten what the hell was so funny.

Which brings me to two conclusions, 1) apparently the side affect of being the wonderful is total memory loss and 2) I have turned into a giant dork b/c when funny things happen I think about writing it down on a blog.

So for your enjoyment, random things happening in my life/mind:

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Kate and I went to a roof top Cubbies games yesterday. It was a LOT of fun….good food, fun view, etc. The only problem was there was some creepies there. They were three old guys (like our dad’s age) hitting on us. CREEEEEPPPYYY. Did they not realize we were young enough to be their daughters?

I can’t talk about this anymore….I’ll want to shower again. ICK ICK ICK.

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At the game, Kate and I were talking about random things and one of the topics was of someone we know.

Kate: “I remember him being scrawny/skinny.”
Me: “Nope….there’s something under there, and it’s not fat.”

Kate starts laughing and laughing. I DID NOT MEAN THAT!!! Kate is a pervert. I did NOT mean that. I meant he’s been working out……she’s a sicko…I don’t know if I can associate with people like that. After all, I am a good catholic girl.

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I’ve gotten some pretty interesting responses to my wedding date entry. I would like to thank everybody who has offered to be my date.

You all are so sweet. Really, but it looks like my “hetro-girl date” to Nicole’s wedding is going to be Nicole’s Cousin Kelly. She’s a loyal blog reader and is obviously on some sort of mind altering drugs b/c not only does she find me funny but she actually is looking forward to meeting me.

I’m a little nervous about this whole situation. I mean what if I don’t live up to standards?
Kinda of like when your friends set you up with this “AMAZING Guy", and in walks the younger version of Danny DaVito.

Maybe I am not as cool and funny as Nicole and this blog have made me sound?? The anxiety is going to kill me.
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Apparently this is the current state of my love life


Did you ever notice that when you hit a certain age and your single people start to make it their mission to get you hitched?

No? OH WELL! You lucky bastard., b/c due to my friends getting married a lot of my cousins being married….some people are concerned about my status.

My aunts ask ALL THE TIME and my boss’s friend’s want to set me up with people they know.

My mom doesn’t want me to rush things, but she certainly has her opinions on who is a good catch.

My worst critic is a 6 yr old. She really wants me married off b/c she wants to be a flower girl. Amongst her points of why I must get married are the following:

~~She’s not getting any younger
~~I definitely am not getting any younger
~~“You’re already soooo old….”
~~She wants to wear a pretty dress
~~I need to have babies
~~Boys don’t want to marry old ladies

Does anyone else see a theme here?? I don’t know what’s worse….my crazy aunt telling me that all the good guys go fast or a 6 yr old telling me if I don’t do it now I’ll end up dieing alone! (ok she didn’t say that but the little know-it-all was hinting at that)

I don’t think these people have anything to worry about. We all know I’ll end up that crazy lady on the end of the block with the 20 cats and 15 dogs…..warning all the young people of the dangers of country music. (Normally they say rap music…..but we all know I am in touch with my gangster side)

Ok well…I’m done for now…maybe something funny will happen later today. If not, oh well……go entertain yourselves for a change and stop putting that pressure on me!!!!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

The Should Sell Beer at These Games

This weekend marks the second season of my softball career. As excited as I am, I have to admit that the dangers from last season have me a little scared.

Last year I knew the season was off to an interesting start when Roommate and I went to buy our gloves.

As you might have noticed, I mentioned that we’re playing SOFTBALL……roommate and I bought baseball gloves. BASEBALL. If that wasn’t bad enough…..I think my glove is meant for a kid. It’s kind of small, but see….the other ones wouldn’t fit my hand. They kept falling off. So I played all last softball season with a kiddy sized baseball glove. Yeah I rock!

Some other highlights from last season:

~I wore my sunglasses ALL the time. We’re talking while batting, in the outfield and while playing catcher. I’d like to say it was b/c its always so sunny in Chicago, but really it’s b/c most of our games were before noon and I was hung over.

~While in right field……I did a whole lot of nothing.

~If I didn’t strike out I was walked. I might have hit the ball about 3 times. I was hit by the ball about 2,000 times.

~For whatever reason in softball, if the pitcher walks a male member on the team, the female right after him can choose to walk. Kate chose to hit, I always walked.

~I made one great play. It was at our 9 a.m. game, and I might have still been drunk. For whatever reason I was about 3 feet behind second base, sunglasses on and zoning out. I heard the bat hit the ball and then looked up in time to see the ball flying in my direction. I closed my eyes, screamed and stuck my glove out. Amazingly I wasn’t killed, but I CAUGHT IT!!! The feat was never repeated.

~For whatever reason I was moved into the catcher’s position. This was all fine and dandy until someone threw down their bat and it hit me in the ankle.

~The next weekend the ball jumped out of my glove and into the throat. The ump told me I wouldn’t be able to talk for a bit…..I was more worried about not being able to BREATH!!!

~The following Saturday some giant guy (about 5’11’’ and 300 lbs) decided he would try to steal home. Someone threw me the ball, I caught it and went to tag him……cue him barreling into me and elbowing me in the throat. I don’t know what hurt worse. The elbow to the throat, the fall or the fact a 300 lbs monster just ran me over in a NONCOMPETITIVE softball game. Thus ending my career as the team’s catcher.

~The following inning I offered to be short stop and tripped his fat ass as it “ran” by.

~I spent the whole “season” referring to the Umpires as referees. Once time I even called one a linesmen. At first my team tried to correct me…..by the end they just ignored me.

OK, I realize I am coming off as one of those dumb blonds, but I am not. If this were flag football I would be kicking ass, but no one will play flag football with me.

I just am not a good baseball player, and signed up to have a fun time. I might be better this year as I don’t drink as much as I used to and won’t be hung over as much. However, all my best plays were done when I was at my worst.

This year should be a lot more fun as most of the team members are my friends and get the fact that I am a sarcastic asshole. They’ll appreciate the jokes and comments I make, and won’t question why I will be standing in right field with my sunglasses and pink sweatband on.

Don’t worry…..I’ll provide pics, if someone brings a camera. God knows they are going to be priceless!

Oh and one more thing. I am taking a survey on the first injury. Kayla thinks it’s going to be a black eye, while Brett is betting on me tripping on the way to first base.

Friday, May 12, 2006

The Wedding Date

Well kiddies, it’s the time of year again…..yes Wedding Season!!!

While I am not as thrilled about it as the Wedding Crashers guys were (I don't crash weddings to get laid), I am still happy to see my friends and family embark on this new trip in life. (Yeah THAT was lame wasn’t it!)

Out of the 6 or 7 weddings I have this summer I will be attending 4 of them, and out of those 4 I am actually in 1 of them. (hmm wonder who that could be??)

So the next question I have to ask myself is this, “Do I bring a date?”

This is a simple NO to two of the weddings as I am already the “date.” The first one is Roommate’s brother’s wedding. Roommate’s mom invited myself and Sarah to Ben’s wedding and therefore we are kind of being Roommate’s date since she is not bringing one.

In July I will be attending a wedding in Michigan to be Dave’s wedding “date.” This will be fun b/c Dave and I are assholes, and like alcohol and pain killers……we’re fun alone but when you mix us…we’re a WILD time!!!

At first I told him to he should bring one of his gay friends (shake up things a bit), b/c while Dave’s home friends know he is gay the other people in the small town might just die if he were to bring another guy. Now THAT would be fun to watch!

Although they should be fine with it, because even though his small town is no San Francisco…...they do have a LOT of guys in cowboy attire. You can’t tell me that Dave is the only mo to come out of the place.

According to my lovely date…..we’ll probably be a little over dressed, as the reception hall will have more dead animal heads on the walls then guests in the chairs.

Now we’re down to two:

As far as Erin’s wedding goes. Erica and I already decided to go together in order to save on gas / hotel / etc. So it is a little late in the game to bring a third party into this. Plus, Eric’s fiancĂ© is in the army…and since she can’t bring him….I’ll go stag to keep her company.

So that leaves us with Nicole’s wedding. The wedding I am actually in and I ask myself….do I want to bring a date??

How do you approach someone with that question?

“Hey, want to be my date to a wedding?”
Unsuspecting Guy: “Sure.”

Me: “Now since I am in it, you’re going to have to drive alone to the church. Sit alone, drive alone to the reception, sit at a table with people you might not know, and basically be ignored by me until after dinner.”

U.G.: “Gee golly Joanie…..that sounds like fun!”

I guess I could bring Dave since I am going to a wedding with him, but do I really want to be known as the girl who brings a gay guy to weddings. Wait, let me rephrase that…..the SAD PATHETIC bridesmaid who could only dig up a gay guy for a wedding date.

Um no. Anyway, I think my family already thinks that after my cousin’s wedding two years ago that Dave attended. Why bring that baggage into Chicago!

The there’s the thought that well if I bring no one I can scam on the straight single attractive guys at the wedding. But I know some single guys coming, and as nice as they are….they’re not really my type.

Plus I think Nicole has mentioned a time or two about this being her wedding and NOT an episode of Blind Date. But maybe that only counted for the groomsmen…..hmmmmmm…..

OH OH!!! I GOT IT!!! Maybe I could hire someone like Deborah Messing does with Dermont Mulroney in the Wedding Date! Yeah there’s an idea…a hot fun guy all mine for the night.

Ugg..nooo…..even if I did do that I could NEVER afford someone hot like Dermot Mulroney. I would have to go to the discount escort serves and end up getting someone like the kid from Napoleon Dynamite.

Oh well, we’ll see. Some of those people thought I was a lesbian in high school, so maybe I’ll bring Kayla and let them keep thinking that.

No…..Nicole would kill me….b/c if the wedding is not Blind Date….it sure the hell isn’t Girls Gone Wild!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

We Just Need A Golden Tee

Sometimes I think Roommate and I are An Old Married Couple:

We don’t have a dishwasher so I do the dishes. If it was left up to Roommate to do the dishes….we would be eating off plastic dishes and using red “flip cups” to drink out of.

Roommate takes out the trash b/c I have an aversion to taking the trash out. I think its called laziness.

When we first moved in I was making dinner for both of us. Lately, it’s an “every girl for herself” attitude. I guess the honeymoon is over.

Every morning I tell Roommate the weather forecast, and sometimes she asks before I can tell her. Her pet name for me is Weather Bug. Isn’t that sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

She gives me nice gifts……like the pink sweat band she had. Its always been a dream of mine to work out and look like a mix between an NBA superstar and a gay man.

Just last night we both fell asleep watching TV. I woke up and put a blanket on her (she was passed out on the couch), turned off the TV and shut off the lights before going to bed. I didn’t kiss her on the forehead b/c I figured my kiss would be followed by a punch in the face.

If we were to get a dog, I would be solely responsible for it and she would play with it. If we were to have a kid it would be the same thing, but with a lot more explaining to do.

Basically, I am the wife and Roommate is the husband, and in true old married couple fashion…..we sleep in separate rooms.

In dysfunctional old married couple fashion….we’re cheating on each other by going on dates with actual guys.

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Sometimes I think Roommate and I are Frat Boys:

Upon entering the apartment and walking up the stairs, you see our state flag displayed proudly. For some reason there is also a map of campus. I guess Roommate was afraid someone would get lost on MSU’s campus so much that they would end up in our apartment and need directions back.

We have an air hockey table instead of a kitchen table. It’s more entertaining and holds the mail just as good as a kitchen table would.

We own Super Troopers, Zoolander, Old School, Boondock Saints, and other “guy/fratty” type movies. These get watched a lot more then Beaches and The Notebook.

We still decorate with Christmas Lights.

Our fridge has beer in it all the time.

We watch Sports Center everyday.

We watch sports and yell back at the TV. I can’t skate and she can’t dunk, but we feel the need to yell at the professional and college players (via the TV) and tell them how they can improve their games.

Like some fratties out there….we like boys.

We play Wingman for each other. As of last night I was her Wingman. I think I did a good job of it.

The major difference in us and real frat boys is that we don’t bring home random sluts.


The only slut coming home with me is Roommate, and she is not randon.

We don't pop our collars.


Now alls that we need is a Golden Tee and we'll be set!!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Randomness

So I got this from Kennice, and I am posting it here for anyone who has not had the chance to read it on everyone's away message.

Plus it's funny.....b/c it's true!

"Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius:Today we salute you, Mr.Constant Collar Putter Upper. You, bedecked in popped collar, teach us that we no longer have to live with a cold, back of the neck. Sure, your Pink alligator polo may look feminine to some, but not to the 17 other frat guys wearing the same thing at the bar. Where others may see thoughtless fashion conformity, you preach a higher gospel. You preach of a world where its okay for a man to go tanning. You ask "why can't we wear make-up, and use shampoo with lavender essecence?" So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. Abercrombie (or is it Fitch?), because we all know, when we really need a piece of gum, you might have one...in your man purse."

Guess Who's Out of the Will Again!!!

I had a great time back at State for graduation. As great as it was to see some of my favorite assholes and some people I haven’t seen in ages, it also marked the end to an era.

I know you’re asking, “What IS she talking about?”

Let me explain. For the past two years since graduation, anytime we wanted to go up for a football, hockey or basketball game alls we had to do was call up one of our little Sparties there and we had a place to crash.

For the past two years the usual suspects have been Dave and Kennice. Since Dave is looking to get a job out of state and Kennice just graduated……our couch crashing days are over.

Yes, it might actually be time to grow up and…..duh duh duuuuuuh….rent a hotel room!!!! (NOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

Scary isn’t it. I mean what’s next? Actually sitting in real seats at these events and NOT the student sections?

Just weird, but I guess this is all part of growing up. There’s a time in everyone’s life when they just need to forgo on buying their 10000000th MSU t-shirt and use those savings for a room at the Residence Inn.

Someone did offer to host Roommate and I next time we came up. I guess you could say he’s either a saint or someone who has no clue what he would be getting himself into.

B/c as our Saturday morning dance parties show: Roommate and I can be like two kids with ADD who are given 8,000 lbs of sugar and told to “Go at it!”


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In other news:

My dad’s cat well hell bent on not letting me sleep on Friday morning, it makes me miss the days where my father hated cats.

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Moving onto current affairs:

Kayla called me at 3 a.m. Monday morning to tell me she smelled like horses.

Next time she’s finished working a 24 hour shift at the vet clinic, I am going to call her up as she is deep in sleep and tell her I smell like a John Grisham Novel.

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The Crazy Train Makes Another Stop:

My grandpa overheard me joking around about cutting all my hair off. (GI Jane Style) He then informed me that if I did that no decent man would marry me, and only lesbians do that.

“JOANIE! You’re not a lesbian are you.” – Grandpa

“Nooooo grandpa, I was only kidding.” – me

(now…if you’re a regular reader I bet you know what is coming next)

“B/c if you are a lesbian. You will be OUT OF THE WILL!”

“Oh yeah, the will. Hey will you give me $20.00 to dump my girlfriend?”

“YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?”

“Jesus. Kidding grandpa.”

Luckily, he caught onto this one and we did not have to have the repeat of the previous out of the will moment.

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Fashion News:

The following conversation occurred between my boss and me last Thursday:

“I am going to go and get coffee, what do you want?” - boss man

“I’ll have a medium, cafĂ© latte with skim milk and two Splendas.” – me

~~blank stare~~

“Ok, I will write it down.” – me

Boss man goes and comes back with the coffees.

“I got the same thing. This is kind of a fru fru drink. I bet they thought I was GAY.”

“Eh, don’t worry. You don’t dress well enough to be gay.”

~~ Sometimes I wonder how I don’t get fired. Oh right, b/c then NOTHING would get done.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Republican Gaydar???

The kind of cute guy who works at the Irish Pub next door and waited on us today at lunch just walked by the office.

He waved and my boss turns to me and goes, “Even though he is obviously a homosexual, do you want a date with Mike.”

Thinking: ::Hmm, and I was thinking he was checking me out at lunch::

Me: “Um, he’s gay?”

Boss man: “Yeah, he was obviously more interested in me then you.”

Me: “OR you go in the all the time AND you PAID this time.”

My gaydar did not go off. Was boss man being funny?? Or does he have gaydar and I’ve lost mine!!!??”

Can Angry Republicans have gaydar??



~~When you do a GIS for "Gay Republican" you get this:

I have no words.

Sleeping with Deadly Objects

So I realize I haven’t been very interesting or funny lately. One big indication is that I went two weeks without posting and when I finally did…..it wasn’t that interesting.

Yeah I suck…..sorry.

Honestly, it could be worse. I could bore you with the mundane daily activities that have consumed my life. Do you really want that? No. I did not think so.

This past Saturday, Roommate, Sarah and I volunteered at the Chicago Abused Women’s Coalition’s (CAWC) Visions of Chocolate. This black tie event raised money for the CAWC to keep doing all the good work it does, and gave really rich and well dressed people (and even us) an excuse to eat 4 yrs worth of chocolate.

Well by the end we were stuff, wired on sugar and caffeine and in really goofy moods. Stephanie was not helping the situation as she was being brutally honest, sarcastic, funny and loud (aka..me in 15 yrs).

For example: We would see a cute guy and she would point blank ask him if he was A) Straight and B) single.

So she’s telling us how one of the board members is a state’s attorney and he always brings police officers to the event.

Stephanie: “Yeah so there’s at least one cop here.”
Me: “oh, I want to date a cop before I get married.”
Steph: “Really?”
Me: “Yeah two words, UNIFORM & HANDCUFFS!”

So as we’re all laughing Stephanie CALLS THE COP OVER!!! The whole time he is there I am trying not to laugh. I mean come on…..we just got making a dirty sex joke about what the guy could do with his “club” and cuffs and she calls him over.

Sadly, the officer seemed a little shy or at the very least intimidated by four beautiful women with big mouths.

Not to be completely random…..BUT….

Last night I feel asleep on the couch. Sometime between last night at 11:30 and this morning at 6:30 I managed to get up, take my contact out, wash my face and brush the teeth and get into bed.

Apparently, I also felt the need to drag the couch pillow to bed with me, and not the little side pillow…NOPE the big back pillow. I was all snuggled up to it when I woke up. I hope I didn’t take advantage of it….and used protection.


Changing the Channel…………..
Waking up next to a strange pillow reminded me of the time I was convinced Chris’ apartment was going to get broken into.

I was staying there b/c my freshman roommate’s (NOT current roommate) boyfriend was in for the weekend…and honestly….I did not want to wake up to them having sex again. Anyway, Chris was gone for some away game and I was all alone in the apartment. About 11:30 I heard noises, figured it was someone coming to pillage me and so I did what anyone else would do. I grabbed my lacrosse stick and one of his hockey sticks and went back to bed.

Sometime later I felt something moving next to me and then touch my back. Without hesitating I whipped around and hit the person/thing/space alien very very hard with the lacrosse stick. It grabbed the stick and before I could wield my hockey stick of pain the thing cried out, “JOANIE!!! IT’S ME!”

Then the lights went on and I saw lying in bed holding his stomach and the stick was Chris. There was a bright red mark across his naked tummy…and it did not look pleasant.

In my defense WHO the hell lurks into their apartment at night. He used some lame excuse like he knew I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to wake me.

The stick left a bad mark….we’re talking someone asked if he had gotten it in the game that night.

And you know how men are. They get sick or hurt with the smallest thing and its like they have Ebola. So for the next could of days it was “oh my stomach hurts.” “Don’t hit me there.” Blah blah blah.

Come on…..you play college hockey. I am sure my little whack with the lacrosse stick isn’t as bad as a 230 lb man on skates throwing all their body weight into you.

(Is it bad I went straight from talking about the CAWC to talking about abusing my boyfriend???)

Now for something completely different……

If you live in the NYC area please be on the lookout for two 24 year old men wearing Red Wings Jersey and threatening to jump off the Empire State Building.

If you live in the Denver area, please be on the lookout for a very well dressed metrosexual male with a red wings sticker on his BMW who might be five seconds from driving off a mountain.

The Wings were eliminated last night and my friends are not handling it to well. This is a very low blow since their demi-god Steve Yzerman will probably be retiring at the end of the year (which is now) and they wanted him to go out on a cup.

And finally…..

My boss informed me today that yesterday I looked like shit.

I told him yesterday I had a terrible headache and was dead tired.

I have yet to tell him I could care less about baseball or his friend’s sexual escapades. B/c really….if I’m not getting any……..I do NOT want to hear about a 45 yr old divorcee getting any.

One more thing…………

I need to make a new work play list……I caught myself listening to “Let’s Talk About Sex” by Salt n’ Pepa and then “Just a Lil bit” by Brett’s Homeslice Fiddy.


~~This bit of ADD entry brought to you by my Diet Coke addiction and the Kelly Clarkson playlist.