Sometimes I think Roommate and I are An Old Married Couple:
We don’t have a dishwasher so I do the dishes. If it was left up to Roommate to do the dishes….we would be eating off plastic dishes and using red “flip cups” to drink out of.
Roommate takes out the trash b/c I have an aversion to taking the trash out. I think its called laziness.
When we first moved in I was making dinner for both of us. Lately, it’s an “every girl for herself” attitude. I guess the honeymoon is over.
Every morning I tell Roommate the weather forecast, and sometimes she asks before I can tell her. Her pet name for me is Weather Bug. Isn’t that sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet.
She gives me nice gifts……like the pink sweat band she had. Its always been a dream of mine to work out and look like a mix between an NBA superstar and a gay man.
Just last night we both fell asleep watching TV. I woke up and put a blanket on her (she was passed out on the couch), turned off the TV and shut off the lights before going to bed. I didn’t kiss her on the forehead b/c I figured my kiss would be followed by a punch in the face.
If we were to get a dog, I would be solely responsible for it and she would play with it. If we were to have a kid it would be the same thing, but with a lot more explaining to do.
Basically, I am the wife and Roommate is the husband, and in true old married couple fashion…..we sleep in separate rooms.
In dysfunctional old married couple fashion….we’re cheating on each other by going on dates with actual guys.
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Sometimes I think Roommate and I are Frat Boys:
Upon entering the apartment and walking up the stairs, you see our state flag displayed proudly. For some reason there is also a map of campus. I guess Roommate was afraid someone would get lost on MSU’s campus so much that they would end up in our apartment and need directions back.
We have an air hockey table instead of a kitchen table. It’s more entertaining and holds the mail just as good as a kitchen table would.
We own Super Troopers, Zoolander, Old School, Boondock Saints, and other “guy/fratty” type movies. These get watched a lot more then Beaches and The Notebook.
We still decorate with Christmas Lights.
Our fridge has beer in it all the time.
We watch Sports Center everyday.
We watch sports and yell back at the TV. I can’t skate and she can’t dunk, but we feel the need to yell at the professional and college players (via the TV) and tell them how they can improve their games.
Like some fratties out there….we like boys.
We play Wingman for each other. As of last night I was her Wingman. I think I did a good job of it.
The major difference in us and real frat boys is that we don’t bring home random sluts.
The only slut coming home with me is Roommate, and she is not randon.
We don't pop our collars.
Now alls that we need is a Golden Tee and we'll be set!!
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