In case you thought it couldn’t get better…………..
catholic boy seeks technical virgin for shameful humping – 29
Looking for a girl who is obsessed with sex and does "everything but" - preferably an actual technical virgin but a post-slut will be considered. Should also be into bataille, mid-century modern furniture, and time consuming headgames about guilt over enjoying sex so long as we still get to do it in the butt every day - afterwards we can even go to confession.
I don’t think you could have made-up anything better then this one. Honestly, this might be my favorite. Sadly, due to the fact that parents today are to scared to talk about sex and Sex Education in schools is a joke now……..there are a LOT of girls out there who can be conned into this.
“Hey baby, as long as I can’t get you pregnant it’s not sex, you’ll still be a virgin.”
“Really??”
“Yean, now get on your knees and say “aaahhhh” when you’re done with that, turn around.”
ARE THERE ANY CUTE GIRLS THAT ENJOY 420 AND ARE CUTE???? – 26
Opposed to all those cute girls out there that enjoy 420 and are ugly, right?? Right Cheech, go back to your bedroom and roll another fatty.
ATTENTION: Read the following with your crappiest peppy le pu accent. Thank you.
Frenchman for a Lady Special - 23
Welcome, I have just arrived here in Chicago from small town in the North of France, and looking for a lady different and special to have supper with me. She must be very beautiful, and she must move with grace. She must be mannered. Many have said that Frenchmen are the best for pleasing their lady. This I think is true. I will make you happy and teach you many things. You will never be afraid. Many have said that my sexiest part is my lip. I do not know, this is for my lady special to judge. Look at it in this photo. My lady special will have many more sexy parts than me.
Please go on www.craigslist.org the Chicago page and find this guy. CREEPY!! And I am sure that something was lost in the translation and every time he wrote “she” or “lady” he meant “he” and “guy.” Although the phrase “Lady Special” is cracking me up.
STRONG younger woman needed - 36
I am a decent looking, financially secure, fun guy. I am looking for a female in their young 20's who is strong, confident and can assume the role of boss. I am eager to meet such a person and I am able to spoil the right person. I like shopping and fine dining and I go to lots of parties. I am flexible on how dominant you may be.....
In case you were wondering, this means that he wants to be dominated in bed. We’re talking dominatrix and making dress in leather and clean your floors with his tongue.
His mother was probably a HUGE bitch and he can only be aroused when being abused. If he was a woman he would be the perfect match for Mr. Spanky form the previous post.
Or apparently this guy……………
Male Spanking Switch Looking For Female Partner – 50
Retired executive looking for an older lady who likes to spank and be spanked on a regular basis. No sex required or expected but that's your call. Mornings and afternoons available.
They really need to change the name of this from Craig’s list to guys who want to be spanked.
I’m a little confused. This guy says NO sex required to expected. So, um….he just wants to be spanked??? Is this what our parents do when they retire?
Yep, I just made myself sick.
make me an offer – 30
i need a wife. i am 5´4´´, nice and carrying. i think is time to start a family. if marriage is an option for u, tell me what do u expect from this type of relationship.
Again with the honesty. I need a wife, I’m sort…..please someone do me. Listen buddy. Go online to www.womenwhowillmarryyouforagreencard.com and find that special women.
When the kids ask how mommy and daddy met, you can tell them it was love at first payment of $29.99.
Meet me tonight at Durkins Tavern at Halstead and Diversey
Hey I am at Durkins Tavern right now and am writing and doing some work-they have wi-fi! I will be here until about midnight. Anyone care to join in on a beer and a burger or salad? Peace Ron
OK seriously, I go to Durkin’s. We went there ALL the time after softball b/c they sponsored us. I saw a guy working on his laptop and I remember thinking, “WHO does that???”
Well apparently Ron does that, and next time I might approach him and be like “So RON…..how’s getting chicks on Craig’s List treating you??”
But only after a couple of car bombs.
DO GOTH CHICKS LIKE CASH?
Wealthy, very generous, conservative looking 40's, divorced white male, no children, seeks weekly dates. Serious Only
I think this is my old Science teacher, but now he’s willing to pay for it.
Shy Guy Seeks Sexually Aggressive Female - 37
I'm a shy guy who has a lot of trouble meeting women. I've not had sex or any girlfriends in many years and have just about given up. I am seeking a sweet, compassionate, gentle, caring woman to show me some of what I've been missing in and out of the bedroom. I've obviously disease free and safe, looking for a woman who prefers safe sex to risky sex and who prefers the company of shy intelligent beta men to the company of cocky outgoing alpha male jerks.
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to the REAL 40 year old VIRGIN!!!!
PLEASE BE ADVISED: The post made baby Jesus cry……..
hey chubby hipster girl, let me lick your ass while you fall asleep – 28
bonus points if you are short, cranky, jewish / persian / uzbek and wear chunky nerd glasses (you won't have to wear the glasses to bed). not looking for any kind of reciprocal arrangement, just a lady who from time to time would enjoy having a man lick her ass while she fell asleep. good hygeine a must. sleepover optional. "420" would be cool. liking bands like acid mothers temple or composers like steve reich would make this a special experience for me. if you wanted to put on a lake of dracula record, tie me up and plow me with a strap-on that would be cool too, but that should probably be the subject of another ad. i'm late 20's, nerdy (actually nerdy, not some poser art school casualty), thin, sane and ok with my sexuality, a good conversationalist (if that's relevant).
I hope to GOD this is fake. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let this be something someone made up b/c they were trying to be funny.
I really don’t think that one can be topped. For now at least.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
It Could Always Be Worse
Sometime ago one of my roommates (I have two now) was bored and was reading the personals on Craig’s List. We found some funny ones that had us laughing.
Since I was on hold with Cook County (aka…sitting on hold for 30 min) I decided to check out those personals.
The following are some of the funniest and oddest things I have ever read. They have also reminded me that as far as dating goes, it could be A LOT worse. So sit back and enjoy!
YES, I Spank! ~32
I think it's imperative for a happy, loving marriage. Though I know that limits my dating options, I won't see a woman unless she understands the importance of discipline within the confines of a healthy relationship.
…………..Ok, first off let me say that I applaud his sense of kinkiness. However, as I am all for a little spanking or a little handcuff action, (what?? Was that to much info???) the part that scares me is the “importance of discipline.”
Honestly, I have a really strong feeling that this guy has a dungeon in his house. Filled with whips, paddles with spikes, gags, and all that scary leather stuff you can find in S&M shops. At the very least he has a giant wooden box under his bed where he is going to keep whomever answers this add.
One Time Offer!!! ~46
Another year, another try. Me - Professional, 5'10" athletic, blue eyes, brown hair. Good looking. Divorced, daughter in college. Looking for a fun, outgoing lady. If this is you send a picture.
Um, if this is “another try” something tells me that it’s not a one time offer. Don’t try to make it sound like Brad Pitt is posting on Craig’s list to find someone to go see a ball game with, and this is our only shot at going with him. Morons.
Take Away My Loneliness. ~25
I never thought 25 would be the loneliest time of my life! Everyone is after something that I am not. I know I'm not the most handsome guy, but I still have a heart and it's like even when I respond to ads I can never even get a kind response back. But I'll keep trying.
This is NOT the way to pick up women. We don’t like whiney men who are ONLINE saying how sad they are to be alone. The only person you MIGHT pick up with this is a 45 year old divorced librarian who has 20 cats and rents out her basement to that weird guy who smells like cheese. However, chances are even she would rather date cheese man then respond to you.
chat or phone NOW? - 31
Tall attractive and impatient. Send me an email and lets get started.
$10.00 says he’s a two pump chump and was on Ritalin when he was a kid.
Seeking women with herpes – 21
Seeking a women with herpes. Fun, attractive guy here. Pic for pic, no pic no reply
At least he’s honest.
Ugly Guys Need Love Too!! – 37
If you're into intelligence, sense of humor, character and personality more than you are into looks we could be a good match because when it comes to looks, I don't have any. If you're blind and reading this, we could be a match as well. All I'm asking is you are female but I have no laundry list and would love to hear from and meet just about anyone who isn't cruel and who doesn't mind I'm not a "hot guy".
Ok, again honesty is good but sometime one shouldn’t go to far with it at first. If this guy wanted to let us now he was no Gavin Rossdale, then he could have just said so. By writing what he did I am now imagining this guy looks like Sloth from the Goonies. Also, if the girl is blind……she’s not reading this.
Cat Daddy~41
48 years old blue collar job house car all my teeth all my hair never in jail seeking kitty to meow with tell me if you have been declawed
Ummmmm…..ooookkkkk.
Labor Day BBQ’s and Fun
i'm invited to a few barbecues this weekend and hoping to bring a lovely young woman to hang out with me and my wonderful friends. you are guaranteed a good time! drop me a line and tell me more about you ...
a/k/a: I have lied to all my friends and family about finally having a girlfriend. I’m going beg you to go along with the lie and asking you to pretend to be “Susie”. I will give you the back story.
Chances are I am going to show up in a X-Files: Trust No One shirt and am the cheese guy who lives with the cat woman.
I'd like to understand you – 22
Ok buddy, let me tell you right now…..you will NEVER understand us. I have been a female for my whole life and I don’t always understand. Get off the computer, go outside, meet a nice girl and do what every other man does…..listen, lie about us not looking fat, and complain about not understanding us to your friends.
(I only posted the title b/c he goes on for 5 paragraphs about being alone and wanting to be with someone. Blah, blah, blah.)
~~Ok I am stopping this for now. I actually have to get some work done……plus I am laughing so hard at some of these that people are starting to stare.
Oh and there were some great pictures, but I didn’t want to post them. Mostly b/c as funny as they were….they left me with a creepy feeling that I would be reposting pics of someone who should be registered on a sex offender list somewhere.
Since I was on hold with Cook County (aka…sitting on hold for 30 min) I decided to check out those personals.
The following are some of the funniest and oddest things I have ever read. They have also reminded me that as far as dating goes, it could be A LOT worse. So sit back and enjoy!
YES, I Spank! ~32
I think it's imperative for a happy, loving marriage. Though I know that limits my dating options, I won't see a woman unless she understands the importance of discipline within the confines of a healthy relationship.
…………..Ok, first off let me say that I applaud his sense of kinkiness. However, as I am all for a little spanking or a little handcuff action, (what?? Was that to much info???) the part that scares me is the “importance of discipline.”
Honestly, I have a really strong feeling that this guy has a dungeon in his house. Filled with whips, paddles with spikes, gags, and all that scary leather stuff you can find in S&M shops. At the very least he has a giant wooden box under his bed where he is going to keep whomever answers this add.
One Time Offer!!! ~46
Another year, another try. Me - Professional, 5'10" athletic, blue eyes, brown hair. Good looking. Divorced, daughter in college. Looking for a fun, outgoing lady. If this is you send a picture.
Um, if this is “another try” something tells me that it’s not a one time offer. Don’t try to make it sound like Brad Pitt is posting on Craig’s list to find someone to go see a ball game with, and this is our only shot at going with him. Morons.
Take Away My Loneliness. ~25
I never thought 25 would be the loneliest time of my life! Everyone is after something that I am not. I know I'm not the most handsome guy, but I still have a heart and it's like even when I respond to ads I can never even get a kind response back. But I'll keep trying.
This is NOT the way to pick up women. We don’t like whiney men who are ONLINE saying how sad they are to be alone. The only person you MIGHT pick up with this is a 45 year old divorced librarian who has 20 cats and rents out her basement to that weird guy who smells like cheese. However, chances are even she would rather date cheese man then respond to you.
chat or phone NOW? - 31
Tall attractive and impatient. Send me an email and lets get started.
$10.00 says he’s a two pump chump and was on Ritalin when he was a kid.
Seeking women with herpes – 21
Seeking a women with herpes. Fun, attractive guy here. Pic for pic, no pic no reply
At least he’s honest.
Ugly Guys Need Love Too!! – 37
If you're into intelligence, sense of humor, character and personality more than you are into looks we could be a good match because when it comes to looks, I don't have any. If you're blind and reading this, we could be a match as well. All I'm asking is you are female but I have no laundry list and would love to hear from and meet just about anyone who isn't cruel and who doesn't mind I'm not a "hot guy".
Ok, again honesty is good but sometime one shouldn’t go to far with it at first. If this guy wanted to let us now he was no Gavin Rossdale, then he could have just said so. By writing what he did I am now imagining this guy looks like Sloth from the Goonies. Also, if the girl is blind……she’s not reading this.
Cat Daddy~41
48 years old blue collar job house car all my teeth all my hair never in jail seeking kitty to meow with tell me if you have been declawed
Ummmmm…..ooookkkkk.
Labor Day BBQ’s and Fun
i'm invited to a few barbecues this weekend and hoping to bring a lovely young woman to hang out with me and my wonderful friends. you are guaranteed a good time! drop me a line and tell me more about you ...
a/k/a: I have lied to all my friends and family about finally having a girlfriend. I’m going beg you to go along with the lie and asking you to pretend to be “Susie”. I will give you the back story.
Chances are I am going to show up in a X-Files: Trust No One shirt and am the cheese guy who lives with the cat woman.
I'd like to understand you – 22
Ok buddy, let me tell you right now…..you will NEVER understand us. I have been a female for my whole life and I don’t always understand. Get off the computer, go outside, meet a nice girl and do what every other man does…..listen, lie about us not looking fat, and complain about not understanding us to your friends.
(I only posted the title b/c he goes on for 5 paragraphs about being alone and wanting to be with someone. Blah, blah, blah.)
~~Ok I am stopping this for now. I actually have to get some work done……plus I am laughing so hard at some of these that people are starting to stare.
Oh and there were some great pictures, but I didn’t want to post them. Mostly b/c as funny as they were….they left me with a creepy feeling that I would be reposting pics of someone who should be registered on a sex offender list somewhere.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Another Reason Why I Drink......
I don’t know who I’ve pissed off. Be it God, Buddha, Allah, mother earth, spirits, Zenu, or whomever……..but someone or something is out to get me.
I can deal with the fact that my boss is going to drive me crazy on a daily basis.
I can deal with the fact that until I graduate from graduate school I will be broke as a joke.
I can even deal with the fact that it is easier to find a Unicorn sitting at the bar having a Labette Blue Light then it is to meet a decent single straight guy in Chicago.
However, everyone has their braking point and I hit it today.
My mom gave me the Honda. The Honda is 12 years old and has 180,000 miles on it. (My aunt had it up at U of M, I had it at State, Allie had it at Northern). It’s a great car, but we wanted the brakes checked out.
I learned this morning that sometime in the near future I will need to spend about $1,000.00 on new brakes. This is in addition to the $7,000.00 + we have already put into the car in the 8 years we have owned it.
OK, that made me sick to my stomach, but again…..I could deal.
As I was leaving the auto care place I realized it was hot inside the Honda, so it hit the window down button….and the fricken window FELL DOWN INTO THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!
I wasn’t even out of the stupid parking lot. So, I pull the car back into the auto garage and walk up to the nice man who checked me out.
Seriously people, I heard the carnie music as I the window was falling into the car. It kind of happened in slow motion, and when it happened I knew it was going to be an expensive window.
While all this is happening, my boss is on the phone bitching at me…b/c that’s what I needed. Look buddy. In August you took three vacations, give me this 1 ½ hrs ok!!
The mechanic tells me they can get the window back up, and if it needs to…tape it to hold it up.
It took 35 minutes for the mechanic to take the inside of my door up, try and get the window up, get the window up and tape it. Then he comes over and tells me that the part that is broken (fancy word for the part that makes the window go up and down) will cost me $300.00 without labor.
So we’re looking at another $1,500.00. Deej has informed me it’s not worth it and we’re going to try and sell the car.
For the time being I am going to be using the Explorer, but eventually we’re hoping to trade in the two Explorers, Honda and my mom’s Sable and get two gas efficient cars.
When that happens I will be signing my sole over to my mother in blood. I will never be able to say no when she asks for something again. EVER.
By the way, all of this happened before 10:00 a.m. If you need me, I am going to be at the bar……….
…………..with the unicorn.
I can deal with the fact that my boss is going to drive me crazy on a daily basis.
I can deal with the fact that until I graduate from graduate school I will be broke as a joke.
I can even deal with the fact that it is easier to find a Unicorn sitting at the bar having a Labette Blue Light then it is to meet a decent single straight guy in Chicago.
However, everyone has their braking point and I hit it today.
My mom gave me the Honda. The Honda is 12 years old and has 180,000 miles on it. (My aunt had it up at U of M, I had it at State, Allie had it at Northern). It’s a great car, but we wanted the brakes checked out.
I learned this morning that sometime in the near future I will need to spend about $1,000.00 on new brakes. This is in addition to the $7,000.00 + we have already put into the car in the 8 years we have owned it.
OK, that made me sick to my stomach, but again…..I could deal.
As I was leaving the auto care place I realized it was hot inside the Honda, so it hit the window down button….and the fricken window FELL DOWN INTO THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!
I wasn’t even out of the stupid parking lot. So, I pull the car back into the auto garage and walk up to the nice man who checked me out.
Seriously people, I heard the carnie music as I the window was falling into the car. It kind of happened in slow motion, and when it happened I knew it was going to be an expensive window.
While all this is happening, my boss is on the phone bitching at me…b/c that’s what I needed. Look buddy. In August you took three vacations, give me this 1 ½ hrs ok!!
The mechanic tells me they can get the window back up, and if it needs to…tape it to hold it up.
It took 35 minutes for the mechanic to take the inside of my door up, try and get the window up, get the window up and tape it. Then he comes over and tells me that the part that is broken (fancy word for the part that makes the window go up and down) will cost me $300.00 without labor.
So we’re looking at another $1,500.00. Deej has informed me it’s not worth it and we’re going to try and sell the car.
For the time being I am going to be using the Explorer, but eventually we’re hoping to trade in the two Explorers, Honda and my mom’s Sable and get two gas efficient cars.
When that happens I will be signing my sole over to my mother in blood. I will never be able to say no when she asks for something again. EVER.
By the way, all of this happened before 10:00 a.m. If you need me, I am going to be at the bar……….
…………..with the unicorn.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I should apologize now…....
You know those stupid surveys you get via email??? Ever fill them out?? Yeah me too.
Well here’s another stupid one, and I am board so I am posting it. Don’t laugh to hard. Oh and I decided it was to long, so I took out some of them…..only left the funny ones. That’s why the numbers are all jacked up.
1. do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
closed, with so many gay friends I am afraid of who is going to come out of it.
2. do you take the shampoo & conditioner bottles from hotel rooms?
yes, but more importantly I steal cool beer glasses from bars.
3. have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?
yes, and at one point the person next door asked us to keep it down.
4. have you ever stolen a street sign before?
yes, drunk in Ireland. My irish friends did it all the time so it was kind of an initiation. The sign was in Gaelic.
5. do you like to use post-it notes?
you have no idea. I have an obsession. When I was house manager in my sorority I left post-it notes EVERYWHERE!!! “do the dishes” “move your car” It was obnoxious!
7. would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
A big bear. I might be able to survive a mauling. However, I am allergic to bees and would 100% end up like Thomas J in “My Girl.” “His glasses!!! He can’t see without his glasses!!!”
19. is it okay for guys to wear pink?
hmm, I don’t know. I’ll go ask his boyfriend.
21. whats your favorite scary movie?
Exorcist and Stigmata. When I was younger my dad’s girlfriend let us play with a Ouija board. When my mom found out (Irish Catholic woman) she flipped and put my sister and I in her room, put on the Exorcist, turned off the lights and said “Play with it again and this will happen to you.”
I have never touched one since.
22. where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
at Tiffany’s and other stores, and by bury I mean spend.
25. what is your favorite food/cuisine?
POTATOES!!!!!!!!!
26. what movies could you watch over and over and still love?
The Wedding Date and Miracle
28. were you a boy/girl scout?
I was a brownie for 3 weeks, but it was the same time at CCD and CCD was more important.
38. when you were a kid what did you dress up as for halloween?
one year I was a hockey player, one year I was a Bears player and then the following year I remembered I was a GIRL and I was a princess for 3 years and then a witch. (She’s a witch....BURN HER!!!)
40. how many languages can you speak?
englis, drunk and child
43. are you stubborn?
I read this as “are you STILLBORN.” Yeah I would say I am a tad stubborn. My mother and friends would say that I was a little more then tad.
47. sing in the car?
it’s a good thing the weather is getting colder, b/c my windows will be up and the noise pollution will stop.
50. ever used a gun?
not yet, but I know the first person I’ll shoot.
I mean NO.
54. ever eat a pierogie?
they’re made with potatoes. Do you have to ask?
56. occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
I wanted to be the first female football coach for the Chicago Bears!
58. ever have a deja-vue feeling?
all the time….but not now
105. are you good with kids?
Yeah, I’m like the piped piper of children. Honestly, they love me and I love them. At Nicole’s wedding I spent a lot of dance floor time with the ring bearer and flower girl. (they were waaaaaaaaay to cute) I’m not sure if that was a good thing though, as Joanie was a tad drunkie drunkie. Oh well as someone put, its not like I gave my glass of wine to the kids and was like “hold it until Auntie Joanie is thirsty!”
Tonight I might be seeing SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!! And by seeing I mean watching it between my fingers as snakes creep me out.
Well here’s another stupid one, and I am board so I am posting it. Don’t laugh to hard. Oh and I decided it was to long, so I took out some of them…..only left the funny ones. That’s why the numbers are all jacked up.
1. do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
closed, with so many gay friends I am afraid of who is going to come out of it.
2. do you take the shampoo & conditioner bottles from hotel rooms?
yes, but more importantly I steal cool beer glasses from bars.
3. have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room?
yes, and at one point the person next door asked us to keep it down.
4. have you ever stolen a street sign before?
yes, drunk in Ireland. My irish friends did it all the time so it was kind of an initiation. The sign was in Gaelic.
5. do you like to use post-it notes?
you have no idea. I have an obsession. When I was house manager in my sorority I left post-it notes EVERYWHERE!!! “do the dishes” “move your car” It was obnoxious!
7. would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?
A big bear. I might be able to survive a mauling. However, I am allergic to bees and would 100% end up like Thomas J in “My Girl.” “His glasses!!! He can’t see without his glasses!!!”
19. is it okay for guys to wear pink?
hmm, I don’t know. I’ll go ask his boyfriend.
21. whats your favorite scary movie?
Exorcist and Stigmata. When I was younger my dad’s girlfriend let us play with a Ouija board. When my mom found out (Irish Catholic woman) she flipped and put my sister and I in her room, put on the Exorcist, turned off the lights and said “Play with it again and this will happen to you.”
I have never touched one since.
22. where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
at Tiffany’s and other stores, and by bury I mean spend.
25. what is your favorite food/cuisine?
POTATOES!!!!!!!!!
26. what movies could you watch over and over and still love?
The Wedding Date and Miracle
28. were you a boy/girl scout?
I was a brownie for 3 weeks, but it was the same time at CCD and CCD was more important.
38. when you were a kid what did you dress up as for halloween?
one year I was a hockey player, one year I was a Bears player and then the following year I remembered I was a GIRL and I was a princess for 3 years and then a witch. (She’s a witch....BURN HER!!!)
40. how many languages can you speak?
englis, drunk and child
43. are you stubborn?
I read this as “are you STILLBORN.” Yeah I would say I am a tad stubborn. My mother and friends would say that I was a little more then tad.
47. sing in the car?
it’s a good thing the weather is getting colder, b/c my windows will be up and the noise pollution will stop.
50. ever used a gun?
not yet, but I know the first person I’ll shoot.
I mean NO.
54. ever eat a pierogie?
they’re made with potatoes. Do you have to ask?
56. occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
I wanted to be the first female football coach for the Chicago Bears!
58. ever have a deja-vue feeling?
all the time….but not now
105. are you good with kids?
Yeah, I’m like the piped piper of children. Honestly, they love me and I love them. At Nicole’s wedding I spent a lot of dance floor time with the ring bearer and flower girl. (they were waaaaaaaaay to cute) I’m not sure if that was a good thing though, as Joanie was a tad drunkie drunkie. Oh well as someone put, its not like I gave my glass of wine to the kids and was like “hold it until Auntie Joanie is thirsty!”
Tonight I might be seeing SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!! And by seeing I mean watching it between my fingers as snakes creep me out.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Random Things You Do Not Care About
Totally random, but I really like Salt n’ vinegar chips.
I do, and I had the best when I was in Ireland. My friend took me to this bar and we ordered them. WOW!!! They were so good. There were so sour they made my eyes water.
I loved it.
I also really like Peanut Butter and Picklelilly smammiches. Sweet picklelilly is better then dill, but both will do.
My grams made them for me. She is also the one who called it picklelilly. Most people call it relish.
Other weird and random things, b/c they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have the problem:
~I like things in even numbers. At times this borders on OCD.
~I like to reread parts of certain books to put me in a good mood.
~I’ve babysat so much I know almost all the theme songs to the Nick Jr. shows
~I know almost every Veggie Tale song
~I know a LOT of random things……test me
~I only have to hear a song a couple times to know almost every word. My specialty is rap.
~When I was younger I was convinced my grandpa was Mr. Clean b/c they looked alike.
~I HATED Monty Python and the Holy Grail the first time I saw it; now its one of my favorite movies.
~My friends tell me I say Chicago funny
~according to Kate I create funny Joanie-isms with my spelling errors. Example: shellfish bish.
~I can do an American version Irish Car Bomb in 3 seconds……I can do a real Irish Car Bomb in about 5.
OK that was fun. I’m sure there are more seeing as though I am an amazingly diverse person.
Yes, I meant to put diverse and not perverse. Assholes.
OK!! I am off to get ready for the BEARS GAME!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU BABY JESUS, its football time!!!!
(I realize no one cared about the above…I was just bored….just laugh at it ok…..you know I’m funny as hell.)
I do, and I had the best when I was in Ireland. My friend took me to this bar and we ordered them. WOW!!! They were so good. There were so sour they made my eyes water.
I loved it.
I also really like Peanut Butter and Picklelilly smammiches. Sweet picklelilly is better then dill, but both will do.
My grams made them for me. She is also the one who called it picklelilly. Most people call it relish.
Other weird and random things, b/c they say the first step to recovery is admitting you have the problem:
~I like things in even numbers. At times this borders on OCD.
~I like to reread parts of certain books to put me in a good mood.
~I’ve babysat so much I know almost all the theme songs to the Nick Jr. shows
~I know almost every Veggie Tale song
~I know a LOT of random things……test me
~I only have to hear a song a couple times to know almost every word. My specialty is rap.
~When I was younger I was convinced my grandpa was Mr. Clean b/c they looked alike.
~I HATED Monty Python and the Holy Grail the first time I saw it; now its one of my favorite movies.
~My friends tell me I say Chicago funny
~according to Kate I create funny Joanie-isms with my spelling errors. Example: shellfish bish.
~I can do an American version Irish Car Bomb in 3 seconds……I can do a real Irish Car Bomb in about 5.
OK that was fun. I’m sure there are more seeing as though I am an amazingly diverse person.
Yes, I meant to put diverse and not perverse. Assholes.
OK!! I am off to get ready for the BEARS GAME!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU BABY JESUS, its football time!!!!
(I realize no one cared about the above…I was just bored….just laugh at it ok…..you know I’m funny as hell.)
My Preteen Love
In 1993 I was 12 years old and I had the BIGGEST crush on Jonathan Brandis. Honest to God, I loved him.
He was in all the Tiger Beat and teen magazines (along with the other love of my life, Kirk Cameron), and they were all over my walls.
Does anyone remember Sea Quest??? Because I do, and I think my mom does. God knows if we weren’t home five minutes before that show started it would be all out war.
Jonathan Brandis - Sea Quest Pilot
How cute was he? I love that smarmy attitude and rugged good looks.
My sister and I even fought over who got to like him, because we were not allowed to like the same guy. I mean come on, if I let her like Jonathan Brandis too what would happen the day he came to the door looking for a girlfriend??? Think about this people! It would cause MAJOR family drama.
So I came up with a plan. I would get Jonathan Brandis and Allie would get Jonathan Taylor Thomas. The trick to this was to make sure Allie actually thought that I liked JTT. She fell for it.
Now if you’re reading this and don’t understand why this was such an important thing, and why we couldn’t share….then you: A) never were a preteen/teenage girl and/or B) never had a little sister that had to do EVERYTHING you do.
Honestly, to truly understand the importance of this compromise I really think you had to be a 12 year old girl who was under the greatest of thinkings that one day you would be Mrs. Jonathan Brandis.
I think that torch flamed for a long time. While all my girlfriends were interested in those stinky smelly boys we actually went to school with…..my heart belonged to Jonathan Brandis. Ahhh the memories.
As cute as he was I can only look back on some of my childhood crushes and wonder what kind of drugs my mom was slipping into the Mac and Cheese.
Think about it. New Kids on the Bock??? Jonathan Brandis??? Kirk Cameron?? These pretty boys are a far cry from the guys I like now.
Oh well, to be young and obsessed. I sometimes wonder how rich I would be if I would have saved the money rather than spending it on the 20 Tiger Beat type magazines I bought a week.
I mean really, how many posters that have stple marks down the middle does a girl really need???
(by the way, the boss is out of town and I have already finshed all my work for the day, which means there might be about 10000000 more posts. Although I've said that before and then done nothing.....so we'll see)
He was in all the Tiger Beat and teen magazines (along with the other love of my life, Kirk Cameron), and they were all over my walls.
Does anyone remember Sea Quest??? Because I do, and I think my mom does. God knows if we weren’t home five minutes before that show started it would be all out war.
Jonathan Brandis - Sea Quest Pilot
How cute was he? I love that smarmy attitude and rugged good looks.
My sister and I even fought over who got to like him, because we were not allowed to like the same guy. I mean come on, if I let her like Jonathan Brandis too what would happen the day he came to the door looking for a girlfriend??? Think about this people! It would cause MAJOR family drama.
So I came up with a plan. I would get Jonathan Brandis and Allie would get Jonathan Taylor Thomas. The trick to this was to make sure Allie actually thought that I liked JTT. She fell for it.
Now if you’re reading this and don’t understand why this was such an important thing, and why we couldn’t share….then you: A) never were a preteen/teenage girl and/or B) never had a little sister that had to do EVERYTHING you do.
Honestly, to truly understand the importance of this compromise I really think you had to be a 12 year old girl who was under the greatest of thinkings that one day you would be Mrs. Jonathan Brandis.
I think that torch flamed for a long time. While all my girlfriends were interested in those stinky smelly boys we actually went to school with…..my heart belonged to Jonathan Brandis. Ahhh the memories.
As cute as he was I can only look back on some of my childhood crushes and wonder what kind of drugs my mom was slipping into the Mac and Cheese.
Think about it. New Kids on the Bock??? Jonathan Brandis??? Kirk Cameron?? These pretty boys are a far cry from the guys I like now.
Oh well, to be young and obsessed. I sometimes wonder how rich I would be if I would have saved the money rather than spending it on the 20 Tiger Beat type magazines I bought a week.
I mean really, how many posters that have stple marks down the middle does a girl really need???
(by the way, the boss is out of town and I have already finshed all my work for the day, which means there might be about 10000000 more posts. Although I've said that before and then done nothing.....so we'll see)
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Jenna Jameson has NOTHING on Kayla
I might just be the most boring person in the world, or at least out of my friends.
Seriously, lately I have been talking to these people and they’re doing wild and crazy things, while the wildest thing I’ve done is hit the snooze button three times.
Kennice just got back from backpacking through Europe for six weeks. While in Europe not only did she brave (aka loved every minute of it) going out with six Italian men one night, but she also went sky diving.
Please let it be known that the only time I will be jumping out of a plane is if it is crashing to the ground and jumping out is the only way to save my life.
My sister just got back form a month in Italy. While there she studied opera and sang in one of Italy’s greatest opera venues. She also spent a week in Germany with a guy who is going to compose an orchestra piece for/about her.
Yeah……I almost have no words for that one. I only sing in the shower or drunken karaoke singing at Trader Todds. The closest I’ve come to beautiful music being about/for me was when I dated Mr. Frat boy and he put aviators on and serenaded me with “You’ve Lost That Loving Felling.” Oh it was a spectacle, I wish…WISH…I had video of it.
Matt and Tom are in Australia swimming with sharks and going on outback tours.
My roommates are going camping in the next couple weeks. I mean REAL camping. NO indoor plumbing building where you can take showers or use toilets, and I think they have to watch out for bears. Awwwwww, it’s too bad I have classes on Saturdays. ;)
Kate has driven cross country in a quest to see random shit across America.
However great all these things are, I would have to say my most interesting friends with the most interesting lives are, of course, Kayla and Brett. Actually, it’s Kayla more then anything, but Brett is along for the “ride” so we’ll include him.
So a couple of days ago I get a call from Kayla, and she is bitching and moaning about her and Brett having conflicting work schedules. She’s going on and on about how she has been working nights and gets home after he leaves for work in the morning. (Her vet clinic is short staffed at the moment.)
While one might think that this is her sadness for not being able to spend more time together, “one” might be wrong. Nope, she’s complaining because they have not had sex in two weeks.
Two weeks?? Kayla hunny, add about 166 weeks to those two and we’ll talk about who has the right to complain about a lack of sex life.
Anyway, yesterday about 4:00sih she calls me again (its 3:00 her time), but this time she is all happy and giddy.
“JOANIE!!! I couldn’t take it anymore. After I took care of the dogs I got into my car, drove the 30 minutes into Denver, walked into his office, slammed the door and told him we were F***ing right there and then. So we did it…….on his desk………twice.”
She’s such a porn star. WHO DOES THAT???? I really thought things like this only happened in movies, but no…..they happen to Kayla and Brett.
Never, ever have I had the urge to march into my boyfriend’s office and demand sex on the desk. OK, maybe the thought has crossed my mind (when I had someone to cross it about) but I don’t think I would ever have the guts to carry it out.
This just the latest installments on why I am convinced that Kayla is really an alien with the goal of world domination. She’ll just sex to death all the men, lesbians, bi-sexuals and drunken sorostitutes in the world while the rest of us look on in shock.
I can hear her laughing now. I am sure once she reads this post I am going to get a call, texted or email “What, jealous?”
And the answer is Yes…..yes I am.
Seriously, lately I have been talking to these people and they’re doing wild and crazy things, while the wildest thing I’ve done is hit the snooze button three times.
Kennice just got back from backpacking through Europe for six weeks. While in Europe not only did she brave (aka loved every minute of it) going out with six Italian men one night, but she also went sky diving.
Please let it be known that the only time I will be jumping out of a plane is if it is crashing to the ground and jumping out is the only way to save my life.
My sister just got back form a month in Italy. While there she studied opera and sang in one of Italy’s greatest opera venues. She also spent a week in Germany with a guy who is going to compose an orchestra piece for/about her.
Yeah……I almost have no words for that one. I only sing in the shower or drunken karaoke singing at Trader Todds. The closest I’ve come to beautiful music being about/for me was when I dated Mr. Frat boy and he put aviators on and serenaded me with “You’ve Lost That Loving Felling.” Oh it was a spectacle, I wish…WISH…I had video of it.
Matt and Tom are in Australia swimming with sharks and going on outback tours.
My roommates are going camping in the next couple weeks. I mean REAL camping. NO indoor plumbing building where you can take showers or use toilets, and I think they have to watch out for bears. Awwwwww, it’s too bad I have classes on Saturdays. ;)
Kate has driven cross country in a quest to see random shit across America.
However great all these things are, I would have to say my most interesting friends with the most interesting lives are, of course, Kayla and Brett. Actually, it’s Kayla more then anything, but Brett is along for the “ride” so we’ll include him.
So a couple of days ago I get a call from Kayla, and she is bitching and moaning about her and Brett having conflicting work schedules. She’s going on and on about how she has been working nights and gets home after he leaves for work in the morning. (Her vet clinic is short staffed at the moment.)
While one might think that this is her sadness for not being able to spend more time together, “one” might be wrong. Nope, she’s complaining because they have not had sex in two weeks.
Two weeks?? Kayla hunny, add about 166 weeks to those two and we’ll talk about who has the right to complain about a lack of sex life.
Anyway, yesterday about 4:00sih she calls me again (its 3:00 her time), but this time she is all happy and giddy.
“JOANIE!!! I couldn’t take it anymore. After I took care of the dogs I got into my car, drove the 30 minutes into Denver, walked into his office, slammed the door and told him we were F***ing right there and then. So we did it…….on his desk………twice.”
She’s such a porn star. WHO DOES THAT???? I really thought things like this only happened in movies, but no…..they happen to Kayla and Brett.
Never, ever have I had the urge to march into my boyfriend’s office and demand sex on the desk. OK, maybe the thought has crossed my mind (when I had someone to cross it about) but I don’t think I would ever have the guts to carry it out.
This just the latest installments on why I am convinced that Kayla is really an alien with the goal of world domination. She’ll just sex to death all the men, lesbians, bi-sexuals and drunken sorostitutes in the world while the rest of us look on in shock.
I can hear her laughing now. I am sure once she reads this post I am going to get a call, texted or email “What, jealous?”
And the answer is Yes…..yes I am.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
I can't concentrate. I think I picked up ADD when my hangover subsided on Monday.
So I went on youtube.com and searched for New Kids on the Block videos. I am currently dieing of laughter. These might be some of the best videos in the history of videos.
Sadly, I can go home and watch these as my roommate Sarah owns all the NKOTB videos that were put out in the early 1990s.
I mean try and watch these with a straight face.
First we have Step by Step:
New Kids On The Block - Step by step
I don't know where to start with this....
Ok, the coloring. I love how they added in all the wacky pastels and neon colors. Or Jordan's voice when he hits Step Three "IT'S JUST YOU AND MEEEEEEEEE!"
NO its the dancing, that's what got me. The dancing. At one point and time they are doing their version of the running man.
Watch the video it will bring backawesomee memories!!!
Ok, I was going to try and add more videos to this post, but I suck at this and donÂ’t know how to. You Tube keeps giving them their own pages. So this might turn into a many post obsession.
I was in LOVE with them when I was younger. They came out in the late eighties and hit it big when I was about 7-9ish. My very first tape was a NKOTB tape. I rocked it out.
I was also in love with Joey, Jordan and Jonathan, varying in whom I would marry once I became of age. I never much cared for Danny or Donny. (Donny as you all know is Marky MarkÂ’s brother.)
The marketing gurus behind NKOTB were geniuses. Between the two of us, my sister and I owned the following NKOTB memorabilia:
~ Joey, Jordan and Jonathan Dolls
~ sheets
~ play tent
~ sleeping bangs
~ buttons (remember the button craze of the 80Â’s!!!)
~school supplies
~tapes
~videos
~posters
Honestly, it was sick but we loved it. I remember that Barbie used to date the NKOTB boys because she was sick of Ken. Later in our developmental process (after we learned how babies were made) Barbie and the boys did other things.
I knew all the words to every song and we tried to learn all the dances. We were obsessed.
A year or two ago VH1 tried to reunited the New Kids. that didn't fly, and I was sorely disappointed.
However, Jordan Knight went on to the Surreal Life, and is a sleazy guy as we now know.
Enjoy the video, there should be more to come.
So I went on youtube.com and searched for New Kids on the Block videos. I am currently dieing of laughter. These might be some of the best videos in the history of videos.
Sadly, I can go home and watch these as my roommate Sarah owns all the NKOTB videos that were put out in the early 1990s.
I mean try and watch these with a straight face.
First we have Step by Step:
New Kids On The Block - Step by step
I don't know where to start with this....
Ok, the coloring. I love how they added in all the wacky pastels and neon colors. Or Jordan's voice when he hits Step Three "IT'S JUST YOU AND MEEEEEEEEE!"
NO its the dancing, that's what got me. The dancing. At one point and time they are doing their version of the running man.
Watch the video it will bring backawesomee memories!!!
Ok, I was going to try and add more videos to this post, but I suck at this and donÂ’t know how to. You Tube keeps giving them their own pages. So this might turn into a many post obsession.
I was in LOVE with them when I was younger. They came out in the late eighties and hit it big when I was about 7-9ish. My very first tape was a NKOTB tape. I rocked it out.
I was also in love with Joey, Jordan and Jonathan, varying in whom I would marry once I became of age. I never much cared for Danny or Donny. (Donny as you all know is Marky MarkÂ’s brother.)
The marketing gurus behind NKOTB were geniuses. Between the two of us, my sister and I owned the following NKOTB memorabilia:
~ Joey, Jordan and Jonathan Dolls
~ sheets
~ play tent
~ sleeping bangs
~ buttons (remember the button craze of the 80Â’s!!!)
~school supplies
~tapes
~videos
~posters
Honestly, it was sick but we loved it. I remember that Barbie used to date the NKOTB boys because she was sick of Ken. Later in our developmental process (after we learned how babies were made) Barbie and the boys did other things.
I knew all the words to every song and we tried to learn all the dances. We were obsessed.
A year or two ago VH1 tried to reunited the New Kids. that didn't fly, and I was sorely disappointed.
However, Jordan Knight went on to the Surreal Life, and is a sleazy guy as we now know.
Enjoy the video, there should be more to come.
Papa Don’t Preach
My father is under the impression that I am 3 years old, retarded and pure as the driven snow.
All of the above are three things that I am not. First of all I about abut to turn 25 years old, I am very smart (books and street) AND while I am not a slut…..I am no angel.
I tired explaining to my cousin Tiffany this very thing last Thursday. She didn’t really believe me. I told her how my father is constantly lecturing me about boys and sex. ALL. THE. TIME.
When I dated Chris my father was constantly telling me he was only dating me b/c I was four years younger and he wanted to get in my pants. Geeee THANKS DAD!!!!!!! Maybe it was b/c I am a pretty amazing person.
When I was dating a guy who went to a different college my junior year my dad asked me once where we sleep when I visit. “I sleep in bed and he sleeps on the couch.”
OK so I lied, but it spared me getting the sex lecture 1000 times. My mom was there when I said this. She rolled her eyes and tried to hold back the insane laughter.
Lately is has been getting a lot worse. Anytime a boy or alcohol is mentioned he gives me the TALK.
Point in case, I made mistake of telling my father I can do an Irish Car Bomb in 3 seconds (impressed aren’t you?). I said how my friend Paul is on a mission to beat me, but so far I keep kicking my ass.
My father’s response: “He only keeps buying you those shots because he wants to get you drunk and get you in bed.”
…………………… come on.
Or, he hears me telling my cousin about meeting this guy at the bar and how be bought me drinks.
Dad: “He expected SEEEEEEEEX! Don’t take drinks from people like that.”
I could go on and on and on. However, the final straw came last night. My dad called and asked how Nicole’s wedding went. So I told him how she was beautiful and it was so much fun. How we went out afterwards and then her cousin walked me home.
Brace yourself for what is about to come. Please, and remember I have to deal with this ALL THE TIME.
“Joanie, how many times do I have to tell you that those guys are just trying to get in your pants? Don’t drink around them. Those boys at the wedding were just getting you drinks so you would sleep with them.”
“DAD!!!!!! One of those guys was my friend’s boyfriend. He got in her pants later; I don’t think he was interested in mine. One of those guys I knew for years and he knows he has no chance in hell b/c I have told him that. Moreover, I am not retarded nor am I have years old. Had any of them tried anything I would have stopped it. However, for the record, if I want to do something I will do it!!”
My father hung up on me.
Ok, I don’t expect him to be all: “hey killer, get another notch on your belt? Har har har.” “Did you give that one a good ride? Wink wink” I am not his son, but in the same respect I am not some child troll that has been living under the bed for 25 years and has no idea about these sort of things.
On my way to work this morning my dad called. He said he was disappointed in me for thinking that way, and then launched in on the “when a man penetrates your who who, he penetrated your heart” leacture.
My “who who” where the hell did he get that?
The he reminded me that oral sex is still sex, that Jesus loves me and making out leads to dangerous things.
I almost drove into the back of the truck in front of me.
My father has very little to worry about. In the past three or four years I can count on one hand the number of guys who have interested me enough to put the “who who” on red alert.
All of the above are three things that I am not. First of all I about abut to turn 25 years old, I am very smart (books and street) AND while I am not a slut…..I am no angel.
I tired explaining to my cousin Tiffany this very thing last Thursday. She didn’t really believe me. I told her how my father is constantly lecturing me about boys and sex. ALL. THE. TIME.
When I dated Chris my father was constantly telling me he was only dating me b/c I was four years younger and he wanted to get in my pants. Geeee THANKS DAD!!!!!!! Maybe it was b/c I am a pretty amazing person.
When I was dating a guy who went to a different college my junior year my dad asked me once where we sleep when I visit. “I sleep in bed and he sleeps on the couch.”
OK so I lied, but it spared me getting the sex lecture 1000 times. My mom was there when I said this. She rolled her eyes and tried to hold back the insane laughter.
Lately is has been getting a lot worse. Anytime a boy or alcohol is mentioned he gives me the TALK.
Point in case, I made mistake of telling my father I can do an Irish Car Bomb in 3 seconds (impressed aren’t you?). I said how my friend Paul is on a mission to beat me, but so far I keep kicking my ass.
My father’s response: “He only keeps buying you those shots because he wants to get you drunk and get you in bed.”
…………………… come on.
Or, he hears me telling my cousin about meeting this guy at the bar and how be bought me drinks.
Dad: “He expected SEEEEEEEEX! Don’t take drinks from people like that.”
I could go on and on and on. However, the final straw came last night. My dad called and asked how Nicole’s wedding went. So I told him how she was beautiful and it was so much fun. How we went out afterwards and then her cousin walked me home.
Brace yourself for what is about to come. Please, and remember I have to deal with this ALL THE TIME.
“Joanie, how many times do I have to tell you that those guys are just trying to get in your pants? Don’t drink around them. Those boys at the wedding were just getting you drinks so you would sleep with them.”
“DAD!!!!!! One of those guys was my friend’s boyfriend. He got in her pants later; I don’t think he was interested in mine. One of those guys I knew for years and he knows he has no chance in hell b/c I have told him that. Moreover, I am not retarded nor am I have years old. Had any of them tried anything I would have stopped it. However, for the record, if I want to do something I will do it!!”
My father hung up on me.
Ok, I don’t expect him to be all: “hey killer, get another notch on your belt? Har har har.” “Did you give that one a good ride? Wink wink” I am not his son, but in the same respect I am not some child troll that has been living under the bed for 25 years and has no idea about these sort of things.
On my way to work this morning my dad called. He said he was disappointed in me for thinking that way, and then launched in on the “when a man penetrates your who who, he penetrated your heart” leacture.
My “who who” where the hell did he get that?
The he reminded me that oral sex is still sex, that Jesus loves me and making out leads to dangerous things.
I almost drove into the back of the truck in front of me.
My father has very little to worry about. In the past three or four years I can count on one hand the number of guys who have interested me enough to put the “who who” on red alert.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
BEAR DOWN!!!!!!!!
Since all my weddings are over and life is starting to get a little more normal, I guess I could update this thing more often.
Well that and my fan club (kelly and kayla) have yelled at me.
So here is a short update since my boss is a slave driver and doesn’t like to give me 5 minutes to eat lunch.
This is going to be a short one.
IT’S FOOTBALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you baby Jesus!!!!! While I am just starting to rekindle my love with Baseball, it’s still not the same as football.
Football is my first love (outside of Winnie the Pooh!). I was 2 yrs old when I went to my first game. My uncles taught me the Packers suck, and Da Bears and Da Coach were the two greatest things in the world.
It was my grams who would brave the -40 degree weather to cheer her boys on while she bundled up in a fur coat and drank hot cocoa laced with peppermint schnapps.
Yes kiddies, its Bears Football time and I couldn’t be happier. AND to make this whole experience better……my title rep, Carrie, is bringing me BEARS TICKETS FOR FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!! Now it’s not 100% sure yet, but there is a chance. (If she doesn’t come through I will be so disappointed!!)
So as a public service here is the Bears schedule for the 2006-2007 SUPER BOWL WINNING SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!! (ok….I might be jumping the gun on this one.)
Fri., August 25
vs. Cardinals
Thurs., August 31
@ Browns
Regular Season
Sun., September 10
@ Packers
Sun., September 17
vs. Lions
Sun., September 24
@ Vikings
Sun., October 1
vs. Seahawks
Sun., October 8
vs. Bills
Mon., October 16
@ Cardinals
Sun., October 29
vs. 49ers
Sun., November 5
vs. Dolphins
Sun., November 12
@ Giants
Sun., November 19
@ Jets
Sun., November 26
@ Patriots
Sun., December 3
vs. Vikings
Mon., December 11
@ Rams
Sun., December 17
vs. Bucs
Sun., December 24
@ Lions
Sun., December 31
vs. Packers
I am about to call my mom and inform her that for my birthday I want Bears tickets. They’re playing the PACKERS on December 31. That is 3 days after my 25th birthday. (HINT HINT!!!)
If you are wondering what you can get me, how about those Bears vs. Packers Tickets??? I’ll love you forever.
Now we just need the countdown to hockey season (starting October 5th) and I will be happy.
OK, time to get some more work done. Focusing yesterday was killer and it didn’t happen. So I have to get some things done today. Once Friday hits I should be able to write something funny.
But for now remember this:
Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory; Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown.You're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.
Well that and my fan club (kelly and kayla) have yelled at me.
So here is a short update since my boss is a slave driver and doesn’t like to give me 5 minutes to eat lunch.
This is going to be a short one.
IT’S FOOTBALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you baby Jesus!!!!! While I am just starting to rekindle my love with Baseball, it’s still not the same as football.
Football is my first love (outside of Winnie the Pooh!). I was 2 yrs old when I went to my first game. My uncles taught me the Packers suck, and Da Bears and Da Coach were the two greatest things in the world.
It was my grams who would brave the -40 degree weather to cheer her boys on while she bundled up in a fur coat and drank hot cocoa laced with peppermint schnapps.
Yes kiddies, its Bears Football time and I couldn’t be happier. AND to make this whole experience better……my title rep, Carrie, is bringing me BEARS TICKETS FOR FRIDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!!! Now it’s not 100% sure yet, but there is a chance. (If she doesn’t come through I will be so disappointed!!)
So as a public service here is the Bears schedule for the 2006-2007 SUPER BOWL WINNING SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!! (ok….I might be jumping the gun on this one.)
Fri., August 25
vs. Cardinals
Thurs., August 31
@ Browns
Regular Season
Sun., September 10
@ Packers
Sun., September 17
vs. Lions
Sun., September 24
@ Vikings
Sun., October 1
vs. Seahawks
Sun., October 8
vs. Bills
Mon., October 16
@ Cardinals
Sun., October 29
vs. 49ers
Sun., November 5
vs. Dolphins
Sun., November 12
@ Giants
Sun., November 19
@ Jets
Sun., November 26
@ Patriots
Sun., December 3
vs. Vikings
Mon., December 11
@ Rams
Sun., December 17
vs. Bucs
Sun., December 24
@ Lions
Sun., December 31
vs. Packers
I am about to call my mom and inform her that for my birthday I want Bears tickets. They’re playing the PACKERS on December 31. That is 3 days after my 25th birthday. (HINT HINT!!!)
If you are wondering what you can get me, how about those Bears vs. Packers Tickets??? I’ll love you forever.
Now we just need the countdown to hockey season (starting October 5th) and I will be happy.
OK, time to get some more work done. Focusing yesterday was killer and it didn’t happen. So I have to get some things done today. Once Friday hits I should be able to write something funny.
But for now remember this:
Bear down, Chicago Bears, make every play clear the way to victory; Bear down, Chicago Bears, put up a fight with a might so fearlessly.We'll never forget the way you thrilled the nation with your T-formation.Bear down, Chicago Bears, and let them know why you're wearing the crown.You're the pride and joy of Illinois, Chicago Bears, bear down.
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