She's a Catcher

As promised here is the softball recap:

We’re not as good as the Sox but not as bad as the Cubs, and amazingly no one was seriously injured. More importantly, I wasn’t maimed.

We were terrible during the first game (we had a double header) but better for the second. However, we lost both.

So you know how I said this would update you on the softball progress, well I lied. I realized that unless we win or someone gets hurt or I do something stupid….this won’t be funny to write about.

However, if someone on the team with a digital camera (KAAAAAAAAAATE) brings it next time……maybe we can have pics.

OH!!!!!! I do have something! So I lost my glove and had to buy a new one. Well….I am not one to spend $80.00 on a glove b/c I obviously lose them AND the bog ones are to big for my hand.

So I buy a $30.00 glove, which is a glove for an eight year old. Yep, I am now the proud owner of a PINK and black baseball glove that is meant for a child. Oh yeah….big leagues here I come…………..

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In related news:

My friendship with Dave is completely wrong. There is something not right with us. I mean, just listening to us talk and you wonder when the nice men in the white lab coats are coming to administer the shots.

Baseball conversation:

Me: “Damn, my inner thighs are sore from being a catcher. We had a double header.”
Dave: ::Laughing uncontrollably:: “NEVER say that to a gay man.”
Me: “What? OH EW. You’re an asshole.

Basketball conversation:

I just get done explaining to Dave about the NBA draft and why if some players can’t go first round they go back to college.

Dave: “Um……can you gay it up for me.”
Me: “Sure, the difference between 1st round draft and the rest is like the difference in a Burka Bag and Target.”
Dave: “See that’s all you had to do. Make it about shopping.”

Hockey:
I get done ranting and raving about a couple things.
Dave: “You know you only like hockey b/c you like the though of getting roughed up by a big burley man”

Last night I was at the gym when Dave called and we had this short conversation:

Me: “I’m working out and watching Sports Center.”
Dave: “You are every straight guys dream, you know that.”
Me: “Yeah, and you’re every straight girls dream. We can bring you to weddings/formals and pass you off as straight. Then the next day take you shopping.”

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Dave came to my cousin’s wedding with me. We apparently looked like the next happy couple to walk down the isle. (minus the making out or any signs of sexual love…but whatever)

A couple days later I ran into my other cousin:

T: “Joanie, we all thought you and Dave looked great together. Aunt Shelly was saying you were next, but then your dad said that Dave was gay!?”
Me: “Ohhh…yeah. Dave’s not gay.”
T: “But you daa….”
M: “Yeah, I just told him that b/c Dave and I are sleeping together. Catch you later!”

Needless to say that was a blatant lie, but it was have my family thinking I was a slut or a fag hag. I would rather be a slut.

So kiddies….even though Will & Grace is over, you’ll still get some comedic Queer/Funny girl action here.
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Finally………………

I am trying to kick the diet crack habbit. I am becoming to dependant on it. I’m like a crack head.

Diet Crack Detox is going to be hard….but I am committed. I’ve already gone so far. This is day 2. I foresee an uphill struggle.