Yeah, I haven't posted in a while and I might not for a little bit long....sorry.
However, I found this on my sister's friend's facebook page (i know i am coooooooooooool) and I wanted to share it.
BEAR DOWN!!!!!
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Indianapolis Colts fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Colts fans too. Not really knowing what a Colts fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception. Susie has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Colts fan" she reports. "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "I'm a Chicago Bears fan!" boasts the little girl. The teacher asks Susie why she is a Bears fan. "Well, my Dad and Mom are Bears fans, so I'm a Bears fan too" she responds. "That's no reason," the teacher says. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?"
Susie smiles and says, "A Colts fan."
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Cuff Me...I'm a Bad Girl.....
I hate the weekdays, mostly b/c I hate my job. However, this Wednesday morning started off nicely.
I went to White Hen like I do most mornings for my daily dose of Irish Crème flavored coffee. I probably go in about 4-6 times a week to the point where the White Hen guy calls me Irish.
So the morning started off normal, with White Hen guy and me talking in Spanglish:
White Hen Guy: “Buenos días, Irish. I am making up a new pot for you.”
Me: “Buenos días and gracias. Como’ estas?”
White Hen Guy: “Estupendo!!!” Then he started rambling in Spanish.
Me: “o.k… I got you were super. After that I am lost.”
White Hen Guy laughs: “Ahh. Sorry. Are you excited for the big game?”
We start talking Bears football. I won’t add in all we talked about because you all have heard my rant before. While we were talking someone came in and walked towards us.
“Buenos días Detective! Irish and I were talking about the Bears!”
I looked up to see the hottest thing I have seen since Kelly had that hot doctor in the hospital. He was wearing a suit (very Law & Order) with his badge on his belt and when he moved his jacket to get his wallet you could see his gun in his shoulder harness. H-O-T-T HOT!!! Physically he was tall, dark hair hair, dark eyes, amazing smile……………………
Oh sorry…..got taken back there this morning. Anyway….
HOT cop: “Are we now?” Smiles at me, and I know I turned red. “So what have we decided?”
White Hen Guy: “Irish here thinks Grossman should be taken out back and shot, like you would do to a lame horse. ‘Put him out of our misery’ I believe was the direct quote.”
Hot cop starts laughing, which was good, because the alternative was him taking me in for murder threats.
Hot Cop: “Well, I would have to agree with her on that one.”
White Hen Guy excuses himself and I am left there all turned on and tongue tied by the hot cop. This was my chance to put an end to my drought. So I thought of the coolest thing to say….
“Could you pass me two Splendas please?” (with a little smile)
I know. I’m amazing. He must have been floored because he responded in the most romantic way.
“Sure” and handed them over.
I know I know, but what the hell was I supposed to do?? Jump up on the counter and tell him to take me anyway he wants?? HELLO!!! This isn’t a porno and I was raised with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much Irish Catholic guilt to ever let that happened.
Sad isn’t it?
Hot Cop and I did talk some Bears football before he got a call and had to run. Amazingly enough he didn’t pay for his coffee (hmm, in Chicago?? No!) However, White Hen Guy ended up giving me a free coffee too. So it was a win/win situation.
Well, maybe not. I guess a bigger win would have been if I would have ended up in the back of his unmarked car while he performed a thorough a full body search.
What?? Was that wrong? Too far?? Ok fine. I hate you anyway.
I went to White Hen like I do most mornings for my daily dose of Irish Crème flavored coffee. I probably go in about 4-6 times a week to the point where the White Hen guy calls me Irish.
So the morning started off normal, with White Hen guy and me talking in Spanglish:
White Hen Guy: “Buenos días, Irish. I am making up a new pot for you.”
Me: “Buenos días and gracias. Como’ estas?”
White Hen Guy: “Estupendo!!!” Then he started rambling in Spanish.
Me: “o.k… I got you were super. After that I am lost.”
White Hen Guy laughs: “Ahh. Sorry. Are you excited for the big game?”
We start talking Bears football. I won’t add in all we talked about because you all have heard my rant before. While we were talking someone came in and walked towards us.
“Buenos días Detective! Irish and I were talking about the Bears!”
I looked up to see the hottest thing I have seen since Kelly had that hot doctor in the hospital. He was wearing a suit (very Law & Order) with his badge on his belt and when he moved his jacket to get his wallet you could see his gun in his shoulder harness. H-O-T-T HOT!!! Physically he was tall, dark hair hair, dark eyes, amazing smile……………………
Oh sorry…..got taken back there this morning. Anyway….
HOT cop: “Are we now?” Smiles at me, and I know I turned red. “So what have we decided?”
White Hen Guy: “Irish here thinks Grossman should be taken out back and shot, like you would do to a lame horse. ‘Put him out of our misery’ I believe was the direct quote.”
Hot cop starts laughing, which was good, because the alternative was him taking me in for murder threats.
Hot Cop: “Well, I would have to agree with her on that one.”
White Hen Guy excuses himself and I am left there all turned on and tongue tied by the hot cop. This was my chance to put an end to my drought. So I thought of the coolest thing to say….
“Could you pass me two Splendas please?” (with a little smile)
I know. I’m amazing. He must have been floored because he responded in the most romantic way.
“Sure” and handed them over.
I know I know, but what the hell was I supposed to do?? Jump up on the counter and tell him to take me anyway he wants?? HELLO!!! This isn’t a porno and I was raised with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much Irish Catholic guilt to ever let that happened.
Sad isn’t it?
Hot Cop and I did talk some Bears football before he got a call and had to run. Amazingly enough he didn’t pay for his coffee (hmm, in Chicago?? No!) However, White Hen Guy ended up giving me a free coffee too. So it was a win/win situation.
Well, maybe not. I guess a bigger win would have been if I would have ended up in the back of his unmarked car while he performed a thorough a full body search.
What?? Was that wrong? Too far?? Ok fine. I hate you anyway.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
2007 Craig's List Losers
Happy New Year Kiddies!!!!! I would dazzle you with the adventures of my Quarter Century Birthday Bash, but alas I really don’t remember it.
Honestly!!! I think by the end of the night I was 4 Blue Moons, 5 shots and 4 car bombs into it and my lovely friends footed the bill. Yeah, I am so lucky I am not dead.
So in lieu of sharing the memories I don’t have, here is your first installment of 2007 Craig’s List Losers…….
Upscale SWM looking be your cuckold - 33
I am a nice professionally educated gentleman, an attractive single white male (33yo, 6'1", 180lbs) with a life long fantasy of dating a girl who will cheat on me. Tease me, make me take you out only to have you hit on other guys while I'm there. Compare me to others, bring a guy back to my place and make me sleep in the guest room while you have your way with him. Cuckold me. Serious and nice. I'm not looking to hook up, looking to build a friendship where you hopefully enjoy teasing and taunting me as much as I enjoy the jealousy of seeing you with another man, or men, or whatever YOU want. Please be for real. I will do the same in return
Right. The picture on his page is of him leaning over a railing on a cruise ship. Kind of creepy if you ask me, but alas I guess the Brad Pitts of the word are not getting on line hoping to meet some slut that will sexually castrate him.
Start the New Year, New
I currently live in Houston, Texas but I'm originally grew up on the Southside of Chicago, back in the day. I've been in TX for about 28 years or so. I have a great job, a wife, house, dog, fence, and no kids. I'm in great shape for 48 yrs young. I want to run away from my marriage leave everything behind and start new in Chicago. I need a nice down to earth female friend willing to take a chance on me moving in with them for awhile until I get back on my feet which would be in about two to three weeks after hitting Chicago. Anyone truly wanting to start their new year on something crazy, hit me back you won’t be sorry trust me.
Please let me reword this: “HI! I’m trying to find a way to run away from my responsibility. I have some nagging bitch in Texas that I don’t have the balls to divorce; probably because she cut them off and ate them for dinner about 20 years ago.
My plan is to move to Chicago and sleep on your couch until one day I go for some smokes and you change the locks. Until then I will eat your food, walking around in my stained tighty whiteys and blow my nose on my old Van Halen t-shirts.
So please respond with a picture, because even though I am a balding beer bellied skunk I will only live with bleached out dimwitted hotties.
IM JUST A BOY THAT WANTS A GIRL 2 LOVE HIM - 27
I AM JUST A BOY THAT WANTS A GIRL 2 LOVE HIM. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK. I GUESS BEING A NICE AND GOOD GUY THESE DAYS DOES NOT MATTER ANYMORE JUST LOOKS.
First off, we did not need all the caps in order for you to get your point across. This isn’t AIM and you’re not telling Tiffany that Bobby just kissed Lisa by the tennis courts. Got it?
Second, why are you ripping off Knotting Hill? I mean really! (Don't forget. I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy...asking him to love her.") Kind of sad little man.
Or is this a game? Like you throw one out there, then it’s my turn and if we both guess right we get a date?? Is it?? Ok my turn: “Don’t say we aren't right for each other, the way I see it is. We aren't right for anyone else”
What? You don’t know it? Awww, well I guess you loose.
Canada love - 29
Hi all, I’m mike and i work for an airline that brings me here bi weekly. Just looking for a new friend to see the city with. not sure if normal is what you want but that’s what I am. hope to hear form you
Ok, we all know I am partial to the Canadians, and the pic Mike attached is really cute (if that’s him). However, Mike is probably a flight attendant and as much as I like being the driving board for closeted homosexuals…..I think I’ll take a pass.
~~Sorry there’s not more, but it appears that 2007 is a slow one for old Craig’s list. Hopefully some more psychos log on in the future.
I’m still toying with the idea of making an add to see if I get any hits. Hmmm….
Honestly!!! I think by the end of the night I was 4 Blue Moons, 5 shots and 4 car bombs into it and my lovely friends footed the bill. Yeah, I am so lucky I am not dead.
So in lieu of sharing the memories I don’t have, here is your first installment of 2007 Craig’s List Losers…….
Upscale SWM looking be your cuckold - 33
I am a nice professionally educated gentleman, an attractive single white male (33yo, 6'1", 180lbs) with a life long fantasy of dating a girl who will cheat on me. Tease me, make me take you out only to have you hit on other guys while I'm there. Compare me to others, bring a guy back to my place and make me sleep in the guest room while you have your way with him. Cuckold me. Serious and nice. I'm not looking to hook up, looking to build a friendship where you hopefully enjoy teasing and taunting me as much as I enjoy the jealousy of seeing you with another man, or men, or whatever YOU want. Please be for real. I will do the same in return
Right. The picture on his page is of him leaning over a railing on a cruise ship. Kind of creepy if you ask me, but alas I guess the Brad Pitts of the word are not getting on line hoping to meet some slut that will sexually castrate him.
Start the New Year, New
I currently live in Houston, Texas but I'm originally grew up on the Southside of Chicago, back in the day. I've been in TX for about 28 years or so. I have a great job, a wife, house, dog, fence, and no kids. I'm in great shape for 48 yrs young. I want to run away from my marriage leave everything behind and start new in Chicago. I need a nice down to earth female friend willing to take a chance on me moving in with them for awhile until I get back on my feet which would be in about two to three weeks after hitting Chicago. Anyone truly wanting to start their new year on something crazy, hit me back you won’t be sorry trust me.
Please let me reword this: “HI! I’m trying to find a way to run away from my responsibility. I have some nagging bitch in Texas that I don’t have the balls to divorce; probably because she cut them off and ate them for dinner about 20 years ago.
My plan is to move to Chicago and sleep on your couch until one day I go for some smokes and you change the locks. Until then I will eat your food, walking around in my stained tighty whiteys and blow my nose on my old Van Halen t-shirts.
So please respond with a picture, because even though I am a balding beer bellied skunk I will only live with bleached out dimwitted hotties.
IM JUST A BOY THAT WANTS A GIRL 2 LOVE HIM - 27
I AM JUST A BOY THAT WANTS A GIRL 2 LOVE HIM. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK. I GUESS BEING A NICE AND GOOD GUY THESE DAYS DOES NOT MATTER ANYMORE JUST LOOKS.
First off, we did not need all the caps in order for you to get your point across. This isn’t AIM and you’re not telling Tiffany that Bobby just kissed Lisa by the tennis courts. Got it?
Second, why are you ripping off Knotting Hill? I mean really! (Don't forget. I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy...asking him to love her.") Kind of sad little man.
Or is this a game? Like you throw one out there, then it’s my turn and if we both guess right we get a date?? Is it?? Ok my turn: “Don’t say we aren't right for each other, the way I see it is. We aren't right for anyone else”
What? You don’t know it? Awww, well I guess you loose.
Canada love - 29
Hi all, I’m mike and i work for an airline that brings me here bi weekly. Just looking for a new friend to see the city with. not sure if normal is what you want but that’s what I am. hope to hear form you
Ok, we all know I am partial to the Canadians, and the pic Mike attached is really cute (if that’s him). However, Mike is probably a flight attendant and as much as I like being the driving board for closeted homosexuals…..I think I’ll take a pass.
~~Sorry there’s not more, but it appears that 2007 is a slow one for old Craig’s list. Hopefully some more psychos log on in the future.
I’m still toying with the idea of making an add to see if I get any hits. Hmmm….
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