In case you thought it couldn’t get better…………..
catholic boy seeks technical virgin for shameful humping – 29
Looking for a girl who is obsessed with sex and does "everything but" - preferably an actual technical virgin but a post-slut will be considered. Should also be into bataille, mid-century modern furniture, and time consuming headgames about guilt over enjoying sex so long as we still get to do it in the butt every day - afterwards we can even go to confession.
I don’t think you could have made-up anything better then this one. Honestly, this might be my favorite. Sadly, due to the fact that parents today are to scared to talk about sex and Sex Education in schools is a joke now……..there are a LOT of girls out there who can be conned into this.
“Hey baby, as long as I can’t get you pregnant it’s not sex, you’ll still be a virgin.”
“Really??”
“Yean, now get on your knees and say “aaahhhh” when you’re done with that, turn around.”
ARE THERE ANY CUTE GIRLS THAT ENJOY 420 AND ARE CUTE???? – 26
Opposed to all those cute girls out there that enjoy 420 and are ugly, right?? Right Cheech, go back to your bedroom and roll another fatty.
ATTENTION: Read the following with your crappiest peppy le pu accent. Thank you.
Frenchman for a Lady Special - 23
Welcome, I have just arrived here in Chicago from small town in the North of France, and looking for a lady different and special to have supper with me. She must be very beautiful, and she must move with grace. She must be mannered. Many have said that Frenchmen are the best for pleasing their lady. This I think is true. I will make you happy and teach you many things. You will never be afraid. Many have said that my sexiest part is my lip. I do not know, this is for my lady special to judge. Look at it in this photo. My lady special will have many more sexy parts than me.
Please go on www.craigslist.org the Chicago page and find this guy. CREEPY!! And I am sure that something was lost in the translation and every time he wrote “she” or “lady” he meant “he” and “guy.” Although the phrase “Lady Special” is cracking me up.
STRONG younger woman needed - 36
I am a decent looking, financially secure, fun guy. I am looking for a female in their young 20's who is strong, confident and can assume the role of boss. I am eager to meet such a person and I am able to spoil the right person. I like shopping and fine dining and I go to lots of parties. I am flexible on how dominant you may be.....
In case you were wondering, this means that he wants to be dominated in bed. We’re talking dominatrix and making dress in leather and clean your floors with his tongue.
His mother was probably a HUGE bitch and he can only be aroused when being abused. If he was a woman he would be the perfect match for Mr. Spanky form the previous post.
Or apparently this guy……………
Male Spanking Switch Looking For Female Partner – 50
Retired executive looking for an older lady who likes to spank and be spanked on a regular basis. No sex required or expected but that's your call. Mornings and afternoons available.
They really need to change the name of this from Craig’s list to guys who want to be spanked.
I’m a little confused. This guy says NO sex required to expected. So, um….he just wants to be spanked??? Is this what our parents do when they retire?
Yep, I just made myself sick.
make me an offer – 30
i need a wife. i am 5´4´´, nice and carrying. i think is time to start a family. if marriage is an option for u, tell me what do u expect from this type of relationship.
Again with the honesty. I need a wife, I’m sort…..please someone do me. Listen buddy. Go online to www.womenwhowillmarryyouforagreencard.com and find that special women.
When the kids ask how mommy and daddy met, you can tell them it was love at first payment of $29.99.
Meet me tonight at Durkins Tavern at Halstead and Diversey
Hey I am at Durkins Tavern right now and am writing and doing some work-they have wi-fi! I will be here until about midnight. Anyone care to join in on a beer and a burger or salad? Peace Ron
OK seriously, I go to Durkin’s. We went there ALL the time after softball b/c they sponsored us. I saw a guy working on his laptop and I remember thinking, “WHO does that???”
Well apparently Ron does that, and next time I might approach him and be like “So RON…..how’s getting chicks on Craig’s List treating you??”
But only after a couple of car bombs.
DO GOTH CHICKS LIKE CASH?
Wealthy, very generous, conservative looking 40's, divorced white male, no children, seeks weekly dates. Serious Only
I think this is my old Science teacher, but now he’s willing to pay for it.
Shy Guy Seeks Sexually Aggressive Female - 37
I'm a shy guy who has a lot of trouble meeting women. I've not had sex or any girlfriends in many years and have just about given up. I am seeking a sweet, compassionate, gentle, caring woman to show me some of what I've been missing in and out of the bedroom. I've obviously disease free and safe, looking for a woman who prefers safe sex to risky sex and who prefers the company of shy intelligent beta men to the company of cocky outgoing alpha male jerks.
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I introduce you to the REAL 40 year old VIRGIN!!!!
PLEASE BE ADVISED: The post made baby Jesus cry……..
hey chubby hipster girl, let me lick your ass while you fall asleep – 28
bonus points if you are short, cranky, jewish / persian / uzbek and wear chunky nerd glasses (you won't have to wear the glasses to bed). not looking for any kind of reciprocal arrangement, just a lady who from time to time would enjoy having a man lick her ass while she fell asleep. good hygeine a must. sleepover optional. "420" would be cool. liking bands like acid mothers temple or composers like steve reich would make this a special experience for me. if you wanted to put on a lake of dracula record, tie me up and plow me with a strap-on that would be cool too, but that should probably be the subject of another ad. i'm late 20's, nerdy (actually nerdy, not some poser art school casualty), thin, sane and ok with my sexuality, a good conversationalist (if that's relevant).
I hope to GOD this is fake. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let this be something someone made up b/c they were trying to be funny.
I really don’t think that one can be topped. For now at least.
No comments:
Post a Comment