ass wednesday

So yesterday was Ash Wednesday, however, I insisted on calling (well typing it) it ass wednesday. Not on purpose, but probably due to the insane amount of paint chips I was fed as a child. (THANKS MOM!!!)

So like all good Catholics, I went to church last night with roommate in order to get our ashes and cut down on the amount of time we will spend in purgatory.

The church was packed and roommate and I ended up in the back, me on a folding chair and her standing about 3 feet away.

Normally during mass roommate and I will nudge each other or give each other looks when the priest says something that hits home or reminds us of something. Well during the homily Father said something and I looked over in roommate's direction to catch her eye with the "yep...we're screwed" look and I notice something.

Roommate is NOT meeting my gaze, but she is SCAMING ON A GUY!!!! So, I look at the object in question and yeah he's a cutie, but come on. Jesus did not die for our sins so you could scam out blue sweater guy. However, then I notice blue sweater guy's mudgy brother...and yes...he's hottie too. So I begin scamming.

Then I realize that maybe its ok to be scamming on blue sweater guy and mudgy brother, because isn't it better to meet a guy in church then in the bar? At least there is a chance he'll wait until the second date before trying to get in your pants. Then again we are Catholics, and nothing says "kinky sex fiend" like growing up Roman Catholic.

The scamming is interrupted suddenly by the apparent exorcism being conducted on the 2 year old in front of roommate. (as some know....roommate is about as child friendly as a dirty heroin needle) When I look up blue sweater guy, mudgy brother, roommate and I all have the same look on our faces. The one that reads "and that's why god invented Birth Control."

As we were leaving church after mass roommate informed me that while the little daring was laying on the ground kicking and screaming she had the strong urge to pierce his skull with her pointy heal.

roommate is going to make a great mom.

As we're walking home we get stopped by a guy with the cutest little puppy. As I am petting the little darling (the dog NOT the guy......perverts) and getting big sloppy puppy kisses, roommate is telling this guy where the church is.

Notice roommate is talking to the guy (even if he's a little to old for us) and I am playing with the dog. Yeah I've got my priorities!!

So while yesterday might have started out as Ass Wednesday, no one got ass. Next time we see them, we better talk to blue sweater guy and mudgy brother and ignore the dog.