Been a while hasn’t it??? Yeah, between work, school and studying I have little time to be witty and entertaining. Plus, I’ve actually been very busy at work and nothing to funny has happened.
However last night I hung out with Erica, which is always entertaining.
While having drinks at the Gin Mill we entertained ourselves and Paul, but mostly ourselves, with stories of our hockey days. And by hockey days I mean the nights we spent being assholes at hockey games.
Some of the fun times remembered:
One of the hockey players once referred to his sweatpants as his “cuddle pants,” Erica and I proceeded to make it our mission to refer to him as cuddle pants all the time. This included heckling him at the games. He even asked our friend WHY those two girls he hangs out with call him cuddle pants….
One guy on the team had a dad who worked as a recruiter for the Carolina Hurricanes. Coincidently, said player AND about half the team were drafted by the Hurricanes.
Hockey hair, mullets, were all the rage halfway through the year.
Erica and I took this information and made a cheer. Unfortunately, you will not know the tune of the cheer but here are the lyrics. I would say the first part and she would give an answer or repeat. Erica’s parts are done in italics.
“Are those not your CUDDLE PANTS??”
“YES THESE ARE MY CUDDLE PANTS!!!!”
“Whose Dad works for Carolina?”
“TROY’S DAD WORK FOR CAROLINA!!!”
“Do you eat your vegetables??”
“YES I EAT MY VEGETABLES!!!”
BROCCOLI!!
BROCCOLI!!
NEPOTISM!!!
NEPOTISM!!!
CUDDLEPANTS!!
CUDDLEPANTS!!!
Brad Fast……get a haircut!! (snap fingers) (said by all)
Yeah, it doesn’t seem that funny on paper, but when its live its so much better. Or at least we think its funny, and Paul laughed. (Well….he had been drinking)
We also reminisced about showing up to the MSU vs U of M hockey game completely wasted and almost getting thrown out of the Slap Shots. They wrote a strongly worded letter to us the next day.
~~~~ Look, I’m shaking I’m so scared.~~~
Look, its hockey. Grow a pair cupcake. As I remember I told the girl in charge (who was a bitch and hated us. Probably b/c we were always leading the fun cheers and she was a acne prone bitch who no one liked.) “Listen….its hockey. There’s mean things said and swearing. Grow a pair and cheer like a real fan…or shut the fuck up and go watch golf.”
Then there was the time we went to College Night at the Joe to see MSU play scum and the guy behind us was yelling nasty things about our school and us, at one point and time he called us “bitches” and “sluts.”
Finally I turn around to him and was like “HEY MULLET!! Yeah you! Listen, don’t insult my education because we all know that the bigger the mouth on the u of m fan, the less likely they were to have gone there.”
He starts to defend himself.
“Well, did you? No? Yeah didn’t think so. Now stop calling us bitches before I tell security you’re harassing innocent young women and they send your ass home to the trailer.”
We relived these and other memories as we were playing our own version of hockey at the Mill; which was just Erica and I flicking ice cubes at each other to “score” while Paul drank more and probably hoped the insanity wasn’t contagious.
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