Since lack of sleep and recent events have left me lacking the ability to be funny on my own, I will now grace you with some more Craig’s List personal adds…..

One Last Kiss~27
I'm marrying my high school sweetheart in October, and consider myself extremely fortunate to be doing so. But we've never been with anyone else at all, romantically speaking, which makes us both feel like losers. So we've given each other permission to kiss one person, one time, before the blessed day, so we can at least say we ventured outside the fold briefly. We're just not telling each other the details, although i'm sure it will come out one day. The only rule is that it's just a kiss, nothing further, and a sweet one at that. So if you'd consider being the last kiss for a cute, soon-to-be happily married guy and occupy a special place in his memory, please send me a note about yourself and photo and I hope to hear from you soon.

This add should really be called: Will be Getting Divorced in 6 Months When I Find Her in Bed With Another Woman.


Your Household Chores Done *Free!* (ok, small catch) - 28
Cute, fit, funny and handy guy will do any household chore in exchange for a good handjob. That's it, nothing further asked. I'm always a gentleman, your discretion is assured. Need that track lighting installed? Oven cleaned? Tile replaced? Cabinet mounted? Hard drive backed up? Driveway paved? All done until completion, and with a smile, as long as you do the same. Serious inquiries only and thanks!

Is this like prostitution??? Or is this what the people in government had in mind when they drafted all that Free Trade stuff??

However, I wonder if he is related to this guy…………..


I'll Fix Your Computer if You Let Me Feel Your Boobs – 27
Cute IT guy/PC specialist will fix your computer in exchange for a quick feel of your boobs. I'm a totally non-creepy professional who will repair your hard drive, back up files, install software and peripherals, whatever, for an innocent grope. I have a lot of tech knowledge in my life and regrettably no boobs. Serious inquiries only and thanks.

“I’m totally non-creepy…” WHAT?? You are posting an add on Craig’s List seeing if anyone out there will let you feel their boobs!

Imagine that. I can’t imagine letting the IT guy in my office feel me up when he was done fixing the hard drive on the computer. By the end of it both hard drives would be up and working. Oh Jesus, I just made myself sick………



Free Victoria's Secret Shopping Spree with Cute Guy! - 27
hi -- i'm a cute, funny, shockingly normal guy who has always had a fantasy about spontaneously taking a fun, easygoing girl to victoria's secret to buy her cool underwear, no strings attached. so for one time only i'm looking for someone who fits the bill, who'd like to go shopping for some cute new stuff, i'd say the budget is around $300 for the right person. nothing creepy, nothing else suggested. if we agree to go for it we meet someplace in public (mostly so you can make sure i'm not a total weirdo), then go to VS for a day of shopping, then we go our separate ways. you get a bag full of cute new undies and i get a big smile on my face. the proverbial win-win situation. drop me a line if you'd like to be the one and thanks.

Is 27-ish the new age for turning into a creepy pervert? Because so far it appears that way. So basically, this guy will take you shopping at VS as long as he can sit in the dressing room with you with his hands down his pants?? How isn’t this creepy?? This add makes me feel dirty….i need to go home and shower now. Ick. Ick. Ick.


Here Kitty Kitty Kitty :) - 33
Hello there ladies. I am 33 year old white professional male who is discreet, courteous and respectful. I live on the North Side of Chicago. I have to admit that I just LOVE to lick the kitty and make a woman feel fantastic. If you are sexy, and need your tasty p***y licked and s****d, email me back or fine me on Yahoo IM (screen name mstr_hoo). Talk to you soon.

Maybe I should have taken his screen name off, but he posted it on GRAIG’S LIST!!!!!!!!! Wow. I wonder if he’s like the other “kitty” guy. Where do these people come from? I guess this is better then the guy who wants to watch you try on panites or Mr. IT feel you up! This is kind of like Mr. Hand Job, but us ladies get all the sexual healing. He’s very blunt, and honestly kind of scary.

massage and stroke – 36
looking for find a fun and sexy female that justs wants to chill, smoke a little weed and than get a killer massage. i'm v cute, fit, athletic build, tall and fun.


Is it after all the weed that we’re going to have the stroke or during??? Ok, I know I am not one to point fun at spelling errors or hitting the wrong key, but the “R” is nowhere near the “M.” What am I saying, this guy was probably high when he typed this, we’re lucky he didn’t go off on a tangent about the memorable 3 a.m. Taco Bell date he’d take the lucky lady on.

By the way, you’re on Craig’s List trying to get a date b/c you’re almost 40 and still smoking weed like a 21 year old frat boy.


Office Job-- temporary - $$$ - 39
Temp office position open, about 2-3 days work, great to earn some extra spending $$$. You should be available to work right away. Standard office attire is tank top (no bra) and shorts or mini, sandals. Would help if you're cute, fun, flirty.

Would also help if you don’t pay any attention to those pesky sexual harassment laws or have any self respect.


~~~aaahhhh…..more to come…….

I’m honestly considering writing one up (FAKE) and seeing if I get any responses!!