I hate the weekdays, mostly b/c I hate my job. However, this Wednesday morning started off nicely.
I went to White Hen like I do most mornings for my daily dose of Irish Crème flavored coffee. I probably go in about 4-6 times a week to the point where the White Hen guy calls me Irish.
So the morning started off normal, with White Hen guy and me talking in Spanglish:
White Hen Guy: “Buenos días, Irish. I am making up a new pot for you.”
Me: “Buenos días and gracias. Como’ estas?”
White Hen Guy: “Estupendo!!!” Then he started rambling in Spanish.
Me: “o.k… I got you were super. After that I am lost.”
White Hen Guy laughs: “Ahh. Sorry. Are you excited for the big game?”
We start talking Bears football. I won’t add in all we talked about because you all have heard my rant before. While we were talking someone came in and walked towards us.
“Buenos días Detective! Irish and I were talking about the Bears!”
I looked up to see the hottest thing I have seen since Kelly had that hot doctor in the hospital. He was wearing a suit (very Law & Order) with his badge on his belt and when he moved his jacket to get his wallet you could see his gun in his shoulder harness. H-O-T-T HOT!!! Physically he was tall, dark hair hair, dark eyes, amazing smile……………………
Oh sorry…..got taken back there this morning. Anyway….
HOT cop: “Are we now?” Smiles at me, and I know I turned red. “So what have we decided?”
White Hen Guy: “Irish here thinks Grossman should be taken out back and shot, like you would do to a lame horse. ‘Put him out of our misery’ I believe was the direct quote.”
Hot cop starts laughing, which was good, because the alternative was him taking me in for murder threats.
Hot Cop: “Well, I would have to agree with her on that one.”
White Hen Guy excuses himself and I am left there all turned on and tongue tied by the hot cop. This was my chance to put an end to my drought. So I thought of the coolest thing to say….
“Could you pass me two Splendas please?” (with a little smile)
I know. I’m amazing. He must have been floored because he responded in the most romantic way.
“Sure” and handed them over.
I know I know, but what the hell was I supposed to do?? Jump up on the counter and tell him to take me anyway he wants?? HELLO!!! This isn’t a porno and I was raised with waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much Irish Catholic guilt to ever let that happened.
Sad isn’t it?
Hot Cop and I did talk some Bears football before he got a call and had to run. Amazingly enough he didn’t pay for his coffee (hmm, in Chicago?? No!) However, White Hen Guy ended up giving me a free coffee too. So it was a win/win situation.
Well, maybe not. I guess a bigger win would have been if I would have ended up in the back of his unmarked car while he performed a thorough a full body search.
What?? Was that wrong? Too far?? Ok fine. I hate you anyway.
2 comments:
You never cease to amaze me. And the last part wasn't too far. I would have written/ wanted the same thing. HOTT.
You never cease to amaze me with your linguistic skills. I must agree that I would have wanted the same full body search. Think he'd be into that?
Post a Comment